I am beside myself. RIP little Wynnie girl

[inge]

A couple of months ago, my cousin asked me to take in her conure. We fell in love with the bird, she was just so fun and so sweet. My cousin's kids adore the bird, too, and they frequently call, skype, or come over just to see or talk to the bird. Even the two year old says, "Where is Wynnie" when she talks to me.

Today, Wynnie was on her boing which hangs over her cage, eating a treat. I walked out to put trash in garage--when I came back, one of my dogs had Wynnie and her neck was broken :-(

I am so devastated, and so angry with myself. What was I thinking? She must have flown off to look for me and she has never had any fear of the dogs, so she may have flown straight to the floor.

I don't know what to do. How will I break this news to my cousin and her kids? The whole reason I took the bird was to protect her from my cousin's soon-to-be ex-husband who hated the bird.

I am heartbroken and I don't think I can forgive myself.

She was such a sweet little bird. I am so so sorry, Wynnie baby. I let you down in the worst way. Fly free little girl.

 

[Terry57]

I am so sorry for your loss of Wynnie. Every single one of us has done things that we regret in hindsight with our pets. You gave Wynnie a wonderful home, and this does not change that. I am hoping that your cousin will understand that it was an accident, and how brokenhearted you are because it happened.
Please do not beat yourself up over this
You are in my thoughts and prayers.

 

[PetoftheDay]

Rest in peace, Wynnie. We are glad you knew love while you were alive, and know you are now flying free at The Rainbow Bridge.

 

[goalerjones]

I'm sorry for your loss. It's hard to sense danger when all the animals are so well behaved in our presence, but they don't think like us. They don't understand "family" like we do, and thus this isn't an isolated incident.

 

[Kiwibird]

I am so sorry to hear this Winnie is flying free now.

 

[BirdyMomma]

Please believe me, when I say that I feel for you. I have a similar story, and that is how I lost my beautiful baby Amazon.

I am sorry. I do not mean this in any way, but to let you know, that my heart hurts for you. The guilt never goes away. I still grapple with it, all the time. I am sorry that you have to go through this, and I am sorry for Winnie.

Please be easy on yourself. Do not beat yourself up too much. I know it's hard. Stay present on the forum. There are good people here, who understand your feelings, and care about your experiences.

 

[RavensGryf]

I'm so sorry to hear this. It's very sad, but we hear of accidents happening all the time, so please don't be too hard on yourself. So you were 'fostering' Wynnie for your cousin, she didn't give her to you permanently? So technically she was still your cousin's bird? As upset as she'll be, I really hope she doesn't express too much anger at you. You sure don't need that right now.

 

[MikeyTN]

So sorry to hear about Wynnie....I had it happened to me before right in front of me when one of my babies escaped and hopped off the cage towards me while I was walking towards his cage to put him away since the dogs was out. And the dog got ahold of him before I can do anything. I was only about 3 foot away but the dog ran off with him. I was so upset at myself for letting that happen. I should of known better to grab the dogs first before going to the cage. It'll always be a reminder but there's not much you can do. I blame myself too, even til this day.

 

[inge]

Thank you all, so very much. Actually, my cousin did give her to me, because it is unlikely that she would be able to take her back any time soon. But, her kids were very attached and it was my promise to them that I would take good care of her and they can always see her whenever they want.
My cousin was very understanding when I told her last night. Interestingly, it is my husband (who happens to be out of town) that is the most angry with me. He was very attached to the bird, and thinks I was careless.
Obviously, in hindsight, I was, but it was not intentional. As someone mentioned, I had become too trusting of everyone. Of Winnie to stay on her perch, to fly away if she sensed danger or if the dogs got in her face, of the dogs to be curious but not go for her...it is all my fault, that is clear. I keep wanting it to be a dream, a minute in time that I can re-do.
Thank you all again for your words of wisdom and supportive comments. It means a lot to me that so many understand. I am wracked with guilt and remorse, but it helps to know that I am not the only person in the world to have made a mistake like this.
Best, Inge

 

[Sheryl]

Oh my dear, I am so sorry and my heart goes out to you. It's true what they are saying to you -- you are with kindred hearts here on this forum and it helps the healing. And there will be a lot needed given the human condition. Between the guilt and the loss and the grief. I, too, am struggling. I lost my precious BFA to zinc poisoning with a toy I got her for Christmas. After caring for birds for 25 years I over-looked the killer toy in the Christmas celebration. Try to think about Wynnie being truly free now. It will give your aching heart some temporary relief. Sincerely.

 

[GW.Joe]

Very Very Sorry Inge, most everyone here has pain over losses we have experienced.

I couldn't say it better than Sheryl "you are with kindred hearts here on this forum"

Everyone here is touched by your tragedy, You will be in my family's thoughts

"Time heals all" and in time the pain will lessen

Joe

 

[goalerjones]

I find that the next bird gets treated the opposite of the 2nd child. The typical 2nd child doesn't freak the parents out and can juggle knives without the parents raising an eyebrow.

The 2nd bird on the other hand, comes to us after we've done lots of "on the job training" and our eyes are wide open to the dangers in the big bad world.

Maybe I'm alone in this but I was not so blissfully ignorant with George, my Jenday conure. Then Albert Einstein with Hahnzel, reading every article, looking out for bad foods, dangerous situations and correcting bad thinking house-wide.

You will heal. You have learned. You will most likely get another bird. You will be a better parront for it. And we will fawn over your goofy bird pictures.

 

[ruffledfeathers]

So sorry to hear!! And as everyone else said, most of us have multiple pets as well and have done things that later we wondered what we were thinking. So sorry for your loss and i do hope that you someday find another bird who steals your heart and needs a home with you.

 

[Sheryl]

When I couldn't be consoled, my friend sent me a verse. It is not the warm fuzzy kind, but it helped me maybe because it was a little real and I could relate and find something to hope for: scar tissue. Verse by Rose Kennedy: "It has been said 'time heals all wounds.' I do not agree. The wounds remain. In time, the mind, protecting its sanity, covers them with scar tissue and the pain lessens. But it is never gone." Maybe this will help someone else, too. Sincerely.

 

[inge]

Thank you all so much. I have been reading through other bereavement posts--trying not to feel sorry for myself. And you are all so kind and understanding.
My cousin called me twice the day after to see how I was doing. She is not mad at all. Of course, she is sad, but more worried about me because she knows how hard I was trying to educate myself. It made me feel better, and that she totally understood how it could happen in the blink of an eye.
I do want another bird. It is funny cuz I was never a bird person and I took Wynnie in on a spur of the moment because no one else could. Now I miss her a bunch.
My husband is still very angry with me. He wants me to get rid of the puppy (only 6 months old) who did the deed, but I just don't see how it is her fault. We got them the same weekend (birdie and puppy). If I had known on Friday that I was getting a bird on Sunday, I would not have adopted a new puppy on Saturday. Getting rid of the puppy is just one more homeless pet in the world, and it won't bring birdie back.
Eventually, we will get another bird. And yes, lessons hard learned.
Sheryl, we are practically neighbors. I live in Sugar Land!

 

[Sheryl]

You are a wonderful soul sticking up for the puppy. It is such complicated emotions in you situation. Get in touch with me anytime for support, neighbor.

 

[antoinette]

So sorry for your loss
Unfortunately accidents do happen
In my thoughts and prayers

Fly free Wynnie

 

[TessieB]

Oh, gosh! Just awful! So sorry.