how to know when to rehome

[Owlet]

So this is a really hard topic for me but I've been at war with myself mentally for awhile over it now. I love all my birds dearly and I intended to have them for the rest of their life and I was/am prepared for it. They get all their needs met by me in terms of toys, food, clean cage, etc. I have no behavioral problems with my birds that I cant manage. My issues runs into the fact that I feel I need to keep everything completely fair between my birds. There are times when I could take a bird out with me on a walk or something but I end up not because it wouldnt be fair to the other birds that didnt get to go with on that walk. I dont really bring the birds outside of the bird room much anymore because I cant bring all three at once. I cant reasonably take 3 separate walks so all the birds get a turn.

In short I feel like I could be giving them SO much more interaction and stimuli and enrichment if there was only 1 of them but theres 3 and I can't give them all the same stuff everytime. I dont know how to get past this mental block. I dont know if theyd be happier in other homes where they CAN get that individual attention.

I'd love to hear your guys thoughts about this. If theres something I can do to get past this block or something else. How do other multi-bird households manage this? I've just felt so guilty over it.

 

[saxguy64]

Awww, I'm so sorry you're struggling with this, Owlet. I only have two, but also three dogs that all demand attention. With the birds, I had hoped they would get along, or at least tolerate each other so they could have out of cage time at the same time. Sadly, that's not the case, so I have to divide my time between them. The thing is, they're individuals, and the interaction with them is totally different. Yeah, there's some jealousy, but it's minor. They're less concerned with "fairness" than they are with whatever time they can get with me. So, maybe today, Baxter is in an extra sweet mood, and she gets more time with me, and tomorrow, Tucker gets more of the attention. My dogs add to the challenge. The two adults have little interest in the birds, so as long as I'm there watching carefully, no big deal unless the birds want to be on the floor. Now, the puppy... she's nine months now, and a ball of dalmatian energy that chases EVERYTHING. She can jump! Like hurdle the couch without touching it jump! She has to be outside, in another room, or crated if Tucker is out, because he's my flier, and she would jump and snatch him out of the air. I have no doubt of this. I have to leash her to my waist in the morning for birdie feeding time to keep the birds safe. Like everything, it becomes a routine, and they accept it.

Anyway, I guess what it boils down to is trying to divide your time with them in ways that suit their needs and personalities, and worry less about an even, exact amount of time each one gets every day. Maybe think a little longer term, like average over a week. They're smart, they'll get it, and they still love you. Just keep in mind what an amazing job you do with them! You got this.

 

[Cottonoid]

I haven't been through this with birds, but I've had two dogs with VERY different needs, one of which would get jealous of the attention the other dog got even though she did NOT want to do the things he was doing. He needed lots of physical cuddle time and marathon training and hand feeding meals. She needed short bursts of activity/training and learning impulse control at meals. Looking back at those few years, it was a lot harder on my emotions than it was on theirs. I had to figure out a schedule that worked with them individually, and they really were ok with it. She got lots of short walks during the day, he only got 2 but bedtime snuggles. Etc

The trick is finding a schedule that works for you, too. Everyone's general.quality of life matters here including yours.

My hunch is that in homes that are stable and loving, with proper enrichment, pets can do very well with structured one on one time even though it's not our personal ideal for what we want their lives to be. It's turned out that way for my mammals anyhow, including my human kid

 

[ravvlet]

I have a zoo (three dogs, a cat, and now two parrots). I dunno if you can swing one, they’re very expensive but they make double Pak-O-Birds that can fit two birds side by side. You will look absolutely silly (I know, because I’ve done it myself!) but you can wear a double Pak-O-Bird backpack-style and a single Pak-O-Bird in the front.

When our tiel was still alive, I’d wear his carry bag as a backpack and Kirby’s Pak-o-Bird as a front-pack. Worked like a charm. Now that we have two amazons we’ll have to see how they get on, and if the double can fit both of them - if not I suspect I’ll be ambling around wearing a backpack and a front pack again.

 

[Owlet]

I have a zoo (three dogs, a cat, and now two parrots). I dunno if you can swing one, they’re very expensive but they make double Pak-O-Birds that can fit two birds side by side. You will look absolutely silly (I know, because I’ve done it myself!) but you can wear a double Pak-O-Bird backpack-style and a single Pak-O-Bird in the front.

When our tiel was still alive, I’d wear his carry bag as a backpack and Kirby’s Pak-o-Bird as a front-pack. Worked like a charm. Now that we have two amazons we’ll have to see how they get on, and if the double can fit both of them - if not I suspect I’ll be ambling around wearing a backpack and a front pack again.

I would LOVE one of those double bags. I've been eyeing them fondly for years now but I just havent been able to justify the cost and I especially cannot afford it now as my last day at work is may 13th and I dont have another job lined up yet.


thank you all for your posts it really helps!

 

[LaManuka]

Owlet, that you would even pose this question tells me what a fantastic, loving and dedicated parront you are, and honestly I think none of your birds could possibly be in better hands. I think you need to be a whole lot easier on yourself, although I too know how very hard that is to do sometimes. You have a huge heart and you want what is best for your birds, and in my opinion that very best is YOU!! I concur with my very wise and learned colleague with the sax, you most definitely have got this, Owlet!!

 

[ravvlet]

I would LOVE one of those double bags. I've been eyeing them fondly for years now but I just havent been able to justify the cost and I especially cannot afford it now as my last day at work is may 13th and I dont have another job lined up yet.


thank you all for your posts it really helps!

I feel that in my bones! We just sprung for Sammy’s cage so a double pak o is a distant dream too.

I think you are a fantastic and knowledgeable parrot owner, and I totally feel overwhelmed sometimes too. When that happens I also question myself. There is a person in our local parrot/rescue community who has stated that the best home for a parrot is a stable one, not a perfect one. I think you provide stability for your birds, and it’s okay if it’s not always perfect; perfect is impossible. The fact that you’re reflecting on how to continue to improve and enrich their lives shows that you really care and they are in great hands with you.

 

[Laurasea]

As a single mom to multiple pets.. I know the struggle. And the feelings of guilt.

I rotate mommy and me times. 2 of my pups are advanced seniors , 2 are younger. Do to my health i hsve to scooter walk them. The oldest rides with me, the second oldest csn just walk a few houses down. I can't handle 4 in the car, so I just take one snd rotation. I feel like I let the pups down tho...its just harder with my health... but then the elders sleep a lot these days..

I'm lucky with my flock..so all csn be on me st the same time, but I hsve to rotate tge preferred shoulder position.

I support whatever works for you , including re homing. If the stress is too much and it effects your quality of life, you've lost the joy of them. Then you know there are good homes that can be found.

 

[wrench13]

This is why I ALWAYS make a point of telling folks contemplating getting additional parrots that the 1 on 1 time is going to be 1/2 that it was with a single parrot. Or even less the more birds are involved.

 

[Scott]

Life is the fine art of compromise and seeking accommodation after total review of the situation. We don't precisely know how parrots perceive time or sentiments of fairness. That you are sufficiently sentient to pose the question seems to define you as excellent parront! Now the hard task (as you are well aware!) becomes sating your conscious and avoiding nagging guilt. Even multiple examples of a species require varied levels of attention/affection. I suspect re-homing any of your birds for this reason will lead to greater disharmony than present. Just my opinion!!