How to help my mustache parakeet to have a bit more self-confidence

[Snapdragon]

My little mustache parakeet, Tashi, was terrified of all humans when I met her in December 2019. If you went near her cage, she would hide on the floor in the darkest corner. If you put your hand in the cage, she would flap and thrash so frantically that we honestly were afraid she would hurt herself. Then for whatever reason, she chose me in March of this year.

Tashi's trust in me is pretty close to absolute, and over the past few months I've used that to help open up her world. She understands "It's OK!" and believes me... it could be a new person, toy, an airplane passing overhead, a tractor rumbling up to us, etc, and she relaxes if I reassure her. I can get her to step up for strangers most of the time if they bribe her with a large chunk of walnut and if she steps directly from my hand onto theirs.

However, I realized yesterday that I've become a crutch. I put her into the aviary at work, and told a customer who was visiting with her baby bird to feel free to try practicing targeting with my bird if hers showed signs of needing a break. The first time she asked Tashi for a touch, I reassured Tashi that it was OK. After that, I focused on my own work and didn't give Tashi any feedback. Poor Tashi became progressively more frightened as the customer tried to work with her, and began to squawk and fly back and forth frantically. My coworker finally had to let Tashi out of the aviary because she was upsetting the customer's baby bird. Tashi flew straight to me and huddled against my cheek. I realized just how insecure my little girl is without my feedback.

I asked my coworker the parrot trainer to do some work with Tashi as a favor to me. Unfortunately, Tashi is afraid of my coworker. (He's loud, plus he deliberately grabbed her once and provoked her to bite the heck out of him back before I agreed that I was going to buy her. He was trying to dissuade a customer from buying her.) The session he attempted that afternoon was... less than successful.

We're going to try again on Monday. He's instructed me to withhold Tashi's breakfast on days he works with her (to make treats more attractive) and to pretend she doesn't exist while he works with her. The idea is to help her realize that she is capable of making good decisions without looking to me.

I considered dosing her with a drop of hemp-derived CBD oil (no THC and coconut oil base) prior to the trainer working with her, but decided that would be cheating. I think she needs to work through her fears, not have them artificially taken away. I plan to bring it with me though; my coworker says it might be useful at some point.

Is there anything else I can do to help Tashi gain self-confidence? Any ideas would be appreciated.

 

[Laurasea]

I wouldn't do any of the above that you have done , sorry..
Only you working with tge burd, abd yiu letting her step up to some one and then back to you and praise.
Or at your home pass the burd game.

What you described would teach them to fear abd hate people,. An adult burd us differ than a baby.

 

[chris-md]

I think the trainer has it right. Withholding breakfast isn’t the same as starving, and it’s great that he’s having you removed from the equation early on.

Continue listening to his instructions and don’t try to do anything extra.

 

[Snapdragon]

I wouldn't do any of the above that you have done , sorry..
Only you working with tge burd, abd yiu letting her step up to some one and then back to you and praise.
Or at your home pass the burd game.

What you described would teach them to fear abd hate people,. An adult burd us differ than a baby.

Thank you for the reply! I've been doing what you suggest for well over seven months. The problem is, that doesn't teach Tashi self-confidence. She steps up for others more and more reliably, but ONLY if I transfer her to the other person myself. Her confidence drops to zero when I'm not around to reassure her. Ideally, I would leave when the trainer works with her rather than stick around and ignore her, but that isn't an option; I *have* to work.

Aside from my coworker grabbing her that one time -- and it was ONCE, out of desperation to keep someone else from buying her -- I can't see how anything I've mentioned would teach her to fear and hate people! That seems rather extreme. It's just withholding breakfast for a bit and removing myself from the training session as best I can.

Believe me, my little girl knows beyond a shadow of a doubt that she is well-loved, and she returns my love for her whole-heartedly.

 

[Laurasea]

My parrots are one person burds, and polite to others.
Depending on your burds personality , and within species norms. Is this a touchy feely gregarious species?
What are your reasons, and is this within her wheelhouse?

She is so lovely and I enjoy your stories. I certainly don't know much about this species.

 

[KitKatPlus]

So sorry if I mess anything up in the format of this reply - this is my first time posting

I think the best advice I could give you would be to allow your bird as many positive experiences as you can separate from you. It's important to let others interact with her, but only if the experiences will be positive. While you're working or doing something else, have someone hand her a piece of food. If she's not comfortable with that, have them drop it in her bowl, or just talk to her and greet her when they walk by. If this is consistent and positive, it will teach her that she can trust in other humans just as she trusts in you.

As for training self-confidence, clicker training works wonders. Have someone push her boundary slightly - stand close to her, put a hand on her perch, ask her to step up, whatever that boundary is - and wait until she shows you calm behavior, then click and reward. If she isn't showing calm behavior, take the boundary one step back and start wherever she is willing to work with you. You could even be the one rewarding at first so she understands that you are proud of her self confidence, as long as you don't comfort her with words or actions and instead let her relax on her own.

Other things you can do yourself is giving your bird foraging toys or other puzzles if you aren't already and training them to play with toys on their own - learning new things by themselves can help birds gain confidence in themselves.

Hope this helped! <3

Edit: I would also be interested in hearing what the techniques of the training session were and why you feel they were not successful!

 

[Laurasea]

Youve done very well with her. Her early life had her hesitant with people is my understanding from. Yiur story on her. Many pet store burds can become this way as tgey have forced ( not unfriendly, or mean ) handling, i have an article on thus in my ornithology thread. And beca6 of her personality or circumstances wasn't well socialized at that critical baby stage. So became more hesitant and standoffish . You earned her trust.

My understanding ( less than yours) ( and just from goggle) s this is a species that is often hand shy, and nit into a lot of petting. And i saw several mentions that adolescence is a difficult time for them. Most parrots this is a sensitive time.

The above poster gave great advice. If its just general confidence, there are things to fo for thst. I think yiu hsve already done great things with her.

I'm try to understand your goal or vision of her.

You saw a negative response in doing things tge way yiu did. Its certainly the same way my parrots would react too. They are trusting of me, I can hand them off to people if im right there, they will take treats from people. But with strangers and train with strangers that wouldn't, i don't think many members parrots here would. Maybe I'm wrong? You said the trainer is loud and grabed her once, id expect he would have to work to earn back ger trust. Or that her and him might be incompatible. To have customers of varied skill and focus level and her sensitivity to people. Its just not a giid idea in my perspective. Only under your direct supervision and guidance would i expect progress.

I am very curious ( non snotty way , lol) what yiu are picturing, what's the goal? I'm trying to grasp it better. And typing is harder than in person sharing ideas

 

[Snapdragon]

From my research, my understanding is that mustache parakeets as a species, while part of the ringneck family, tend to be mellowed and calmer than their Indian ringneck cousins. They are outgoing, playful, feisty, and can be bossy. Like most ringnecks, they HATE being touched.

Hands are often scary to ringneck family birds, but we've done a lot of work on target training with fingers, bite pressure training, stepping up, and even playing with hands. Yahoo is so comfortable with hands at this point that she's even been known to decline stepping up for people she knows by gently taking their finger in her beak and politely moving it away from her.

Supposedly, mustache parakeets tend to be one-person birds. However, my coworker has been training parrots professionally for over fifteen years. He's worked with many species. He tells me that despite certain species having reputations as being one-person birds, it doesn't have to be that way if you work with them. Tashi is proof of that: although I am her favorite person, she truly loves another of my coworkers (aka Auntie C) and is also very fond of her Auntie Inger (yup, Bumble's mom).

I don't necessarily expect Tashi to be friendly with strangers, but I do want her to be comfortable taking treats from strangers and touching a stranger's finger in exchange for a treat. We've trained many species at the shop to do this, and I know she is capable of doing the same. Granted, she has more to overcome than most, but she's a smart, sweet bird and I know she can do it.

The training session yesterday went badly because Tashi was already wound up from her freakout in the aviary, plus she was full and had no real motivation to consider taking treats from the trainer. He definitely has to work harder to gain her trust since they have that history. He's also not as comfortable with the ringneck family as he is with other species. However, I've seen Tashi take treats from him before, and a week ago he even managed to get her to recall to his finger for the first time in exchange for a very special treat.

I want Tashi to feel less stress and anxiety about interacting with strangers when I'm not right next to her. I would like her to get as close to being friendly and confident with strangers as she is capable of becoming. I do NOT want her to be a one person bird; having a favorite person is fine, but being a one person bird to the point of not having other humans she loves and shunning interaction with others is not acceptable. (She's definitely not a one person bird at this point, so we'rethat's not a concern right now.)

I guess I don't have a specific image of what I want her to become. I don't want to expect too much of her, nor do I want to expect too little and deny her the opportunity to become her best self. I just know that right now, she is capable of much more.

 

[Laurasea]

Such an awesome forward place to work, have trsiner, has aviary .
Taking young hand raised burds and working with knowledgeable staff and a trainer, im sure turns out well socialized parrots.

Just remember dont rush, allow for off days ,is molt time, and you have an adolescent. Not all parriots are going to be social stars. Talking about medicating, or withholding food to motivate, is there a rush?

With your experience , and having the chance to learn from a trainer, I hope you will share that. The forums are full of people that could benefit from you taking the time to post in their threads. Giving some behavior tips to the members here.

Your burd is lovely, I've been following your posts and has made progress. I wish we had a store like yiur near me.

 

[wrench13]

Notmuch to add here except 2 things

1 What ever you do should not have negative effect on YOUR relationship with Tashi - always evaluate that in the training and the outcomes.

2 I would not give any parrot CBD or other supplements unless specifically advised by a competent certified avain vet.

And maybe one more - ALWAYs progress at your parrots pace - not at the pace of your expectations. If Tashi isn't ready, then she isn't