How many of you can relate to this?!

[RavensGryf]

So I think it's official...
Raven has picked my husband as his "favorite" person. (though he is okay with me).
I know it must happen all the time to couples, but we didn't buy Raven as a couple... He's MY bird! Although I was willing to share him of course.

Don can just reach for him in the cage or on his stand any time of day and night, and he'll step up readily for him. For ME, Raven is very particular when he wants to see me. I have to really bribe him, and even then I swear Raven gives me looks with his eyes like he thinks I'm a weirdo lol.

None of the birds I've ever had were like this. My boy thinks I'm "just okay"... He could take me or leave me. Thing is, Don is not very experienced with birds, he's just one of those people who have a way with animals. ALL animals love him. At the bird store too, birds who bite others just seem to go to him!

Raven will even talk better for Don - he will learn his words faster than with me, he will often repeat Don's words on cue for him! Pionus rarely do that in the first place!

I'm not asking for a solution, since I can't force him to like me better, I'm just wondering how many of you are out there who can relate to having a bird who is supposed to be YOUR bird or a bird for BOTH of you, but they clearly prefer your significant other over you.

 

[Sterling1113]

It's okay.. Brad is very obviously Pascal's favorite. And with kiwi's changing hormones I'm left in the cold over here. I was actually talking to him about it tonight, and it's part of the reason I'm awake right now. (Other than stress of going to the doc in the morning..)
Pascal is fine with me but he prefers brad. He'll call to him and follow him like a puppy. And of anyone tries to take him off brads shoulder(including brad himself sometimes) there'll be a nice bite waitin on the tip of that beak.

But I guess it's okay. I've convinced Brad that when we move I want to look into my dream bird (a greater vasa) so hopefully if that happens, that one will be MINE.. Then Brad can have pascal all to himself and our flock will be complete.

Sorry to ramble. I totally feel your pain though.

 

[MikeyTN]

Oh I can definitely relate to this as Willie recently refused a treat from me as he was as far away from me giving him treats, as I approached with a treat he ran to the other side of the cage. He chose me from day one and he's been with us for 10 years as we got him together but he's always been mine. I told my partner what Willie did, then my partner grab the treat and say here's your treat Willie, he come running to get it.....I was going, FINE be that way....But I can still hold Willie just fine....

 

[Kiwibird]

Well, when we adopted Kiwi my husband wanted NO pets, but he 'gave in' so long as the "bird" would be my responsibility. Naturally, I found my beautiful Kiwi, it was love at first sight (for me at least) but the lady rehoming him went at him with a beach towel around her arm while declaring 'he hates women'. I thought other elements played *more* of a factor in his viciousness towards her than the female gender as a whole. WRONG! We brought him home and..... he hated me To add insult to injury, he took to my husband rather quickly, even though he was very much not a 'pet person'. It took several years of hard work for me to build trust and a relationship with Kiwi, it took my husband a few months without even trying BUT, I still love Kiwi unconditionally, whether he loves me back or not:09: (he does like me now, we're becoming better friends the more time that passes). AND my hubby has softened up a bit with the pet thing- he's not interested in any more, but I think he can't not love the little creature that adores and stalks him:54:

When birds do this, it is a feeling of rejection, but at the end of the day, they're animals. We unfortunately cannot force or gently train or hug&kiss em until they love us back. Time, patience and understanding, however, will lead to a good relationship even if it's not a 'velcro bird' relationship

P.S. Joe also has all animals flock to him. It's kinda funny actually:54: Birds are generally not all over me, but dogs and cats won't leave me alone:52: (I am both allergic and more than a little freaked by them). Animals are drawn to those they feel they need to convince to like them.

 

[RavensGryf]

April, I remember you saying that about Kiwi really taking to your husband. It's so inspiring that you really put your all into loving him even though it took YEARS. Even 6+ years later and you're just now becoming closer, though slowly. That's really admirable of you I also remember your story of how your mom taught you from an early age how to be responsible for animals and be serious about all aspects of it's well being. That's a great lesson for children.

These days I am loving Raven unconditionally of his attitude towards me, and like you say, I have to remember they're animals, and they will do what they do. It's up to us as caretakers to love and care for and baby them to make them as healthy and happy as possible regardless of 'who' they like better. Obviously Raven isn't consciously doing this to be mean, he's just being a bird.

I know I am not one of those people who has the "animal whisperer" gene. I get rejected by all types of animals lol! I'm glad Robin loves me so much!

 

[Bundiibird]

Never fear Julie, you are not alone on this. Bundii too, seems to love hubby more than me. She seemingly does anything for Anthony however me on the other hand has to work really hard even for the small stuff.

When we returned to living back in town (we were living in a mining camp for 8 years), I wanted a pet. This was one of the things that I missed most. Apart from family of course. I desperately wanted a bird and an Alex to be exact. Anthony wanted a pair of lorikeets. He went to work and I ended up with Bundii. Hubby has finally forgiven me.

I would not trade her for anything (figure of speech) and she is getting better. I am working very hard with her and like April, it is taking time and patience. We will get there and this forum has helped so much with that.

 

[Betrisher]

Dominic was my Dad's bird and *I* inherited him! (Dominic, not Dad...)

However, you'd think I was Typhoid Mary, the way he treats me (Dominic, not Dad). As far as Dom's concerned, Kim - my husband - is the best thing since sliced human flesh! Like Julie said, I'm 'just okay' in Dom's eyes. He'll permit me to hold him, to stroke him occasionally and once in a blue moon, he'll allow me to put him to bed. If I take the tiniest step out of line (that is, if I walk by more than the most direct straight line from Dom's cage to his fridge or from his fridge to the kitchen sink), then I get a disciplinary chomping. If anything frightens Dominic while I'm in his vicinity, then he'll bite me as a punishment.

My husband? Noo-oooo-oo! He's a saint! He can pick Dom up and ruffle his feathers (Dom's, not Kim's) and move him about roughly with complete impugnity. I've only got to look sideways and I get bitten! You should see my arms: they're covered with the record of Dommie's feelings about me. When it's bedtime, I have to call Kim or Matthew to put Dom to bed because as soon as ever I pick him up (Dom, not Kim), he'll have a hunk out of my flesh because he knows he's going home and doesn't want to go. Even the Vet can handle Dom fairly easily without getting bitten, but not me.

I'd feel really bad about this, only he hates my daughter far worse than he hates me (Dom, not the Vet). Just this arvo, he flew across the room to bite her. Fortunately, he only got her hair, but I shudder to think of the consequences if he'd bitten her face. Poor Ellie has to run whenever she passes through the kitchen because if Dominic's on the table, he will gallop toward her menacingly as if to eat her all up!

The only reason we can think of for all this is that Dom belonged to Dad (a man) and continues to prefer men. Also, after Dad died, it was Mum (a woman) who kept Dom in the rather awful circumstances in which I found him (she had dementia). I often wonder whether he felt betrayed and wronged by Mum and holds a grudge against all women as a result.

None of it matters, though, as we all love our Dommie with a great intensity. We understand that he's a damaged personality and that we owe him a decent life now. He repays it all with his incredibly hilarious personality and optimistic outlook.

 

[thekarens]

Unfortunately both of mine are both definitely mine. I wish one of them would pick Karen. I think she'd look more favorably on them if they did

Our grey after 13 years of being Karen's bird suddenly decided our son was his favorite person and wouldn't have anything to do with us. The funny thing is our son didn't even like him.

 

[BirdyMomma]

All of our birds prefer me. I attribute this to the fact that I am the primary trainer. Everyone except Knuckles, (who is unjustly terrified of him) likes my boyfriend, but they really want to be attached to, and chewing on me. It's through no fault of my boyfriend, and I feel terrible about it a lot of the time. He loves them all so much, and I bought Wingnut specifically for him, as they were making googly eyes at each other in the store.

Our Amazon is a bit ornery, but seems to really enjoy my moms company, which is awesome. None of the other birds were too keen on her, and because of that, she would try to interact, but got discouraged. Now that he has taken a special shine to her, she seems to have more confidence in dealing with ALL the birds, and now enjoys the whole flock, and they like her more too.

My greatest hope though, is that Knuckles can one day overcome her irrational fear of my boyfriend. I see it in his eyes, how sad it makes him that he cannot snuggle or scritch her. He is such a gentle, loving person, that if she only understood what she is missing, shed probably be his new BFF.

 

[FreedomAndForgiven]

Lucy our Blue & Gold was a family bird, but she just doesn't like kids anymore, and is a lover to me and my wife but leans a little towards me. Phoenix our Camilla Macaw that was supposed to be "mine" is a total mommas boy I still swear she stole my bird lol. The Goffin I got my wife for her birthday last year is all hers, and a rotten thing. Annie the one Goffin plucker we took in last year wasn't ever big into guys, but I am her husband since shortly after we brought her home. That bird will not stay still if she isn't on me she is running around the house looking for me or destroying stuff we can't get her to stay on a playstand anymore. Rita our Military Macaw rescue is the "woman eater" as my wife describes her to other people is all mine by her choice. I think if her, and Annie got to close they'd dual it out over who's mate I was lol. With Lucy I am Daddy. The new rescue we took in that is a naked Goffin is still settling in. She is kind of scared of me holding her though because I am taller then my wife, and she is such a bad plucker she doesn't even have wing feathers she if she falls she hits hard. One of the cockatiels my wife is his girlfriend. The other one is a loner, and good by their self in their opinion. The Budgie rescue is our oldest songs.

 

[GW.Joe]

I'm just wondering how many of you are out there who can relate to having a bird who is supposed to be YOUR bird or a bird for BOTH of you, but they clearly prefer your significant other over you.

Well of course EVERY bird we have had "loves" (cuddles and stuff) my daughter more BUT they also "walk all over her" and don't listen to her LOL

They seem to love me a lot also (because I spend TONS of time with them) BUT they listen to me and respect me, So go figure...

Joe

 

[Terry57]

I can totally relate to this. My hubby, Reg, had no bird experience at all when we started our flock, and every single bird, with the exception of Ki & Cally, love him the most! They are Mommy's babies until he walks in the door, and then they want nothing to do with me. When Reg is downstairs in the evenings for his time with the birds, my usually sweet Talli will fluff up and screech at me if I come in the room
Oh, the finches like me more, does that count?lol

 

[RavensGryf]

I'm loving your stories - making me feel better already knowing there are lots of us lol. I'll respond more later when I get time to read and type!

 

[GW.Joe]

when I get time to read and type!

Keep your chin up......almost over ?

Joe

 

[Selestine]

We have a kitty. She was supposed to be mine. No. Then we got a puppy. He was supposed to be mine. No. How can a puppy NOT be mine when I feed him, play with him, teach him all his tricks, take him to class, am the one that caves in and lets him up on the bed? But no..

Then we took in brother-in-law's dog.. should have seen that one coming too, since brother-in-law is the hubby's twin, but the dog is afraid of all men except BIL and the hubby.

Then the kids get birds. Nope, those are hubby's too. I get Zephyr. He is hubby's, too. All animals belong to hubby and it doesn't matter who does what for them. I promise, if you bring your favourite animal over here, it will also belong to hubby. It's very frustrating.

Then again, I think it is also frustrating for hubby. When he walks in the door it sounds like a zoo. All the birds start screaming, the cat meows and runs back and forth across the counter. The great dane tries to knock him over and the boxer tries to jump over the great dane who is blocking him from daddy. (The wife tries to shove the dogs out of the way for her hug while the kids try to yammer about their days..) He has to go shut himself in the bedroom for fifteen minutes to let everyone calm down.

I think we're going to slowly and steadily keep adding animals to our family until SOMEONE likes me better.

 

[GW.Joe]

Then again, I think it is also frustrating for hubby. When he walks in the door it sounds like a zoo. All the birds start screaming, the cat meows and runs back and forth across the counter. The great dane tries to knock him over and the boxer tries to jump over the great dane who is blocking him from daddy. (The wife tries to shove the dogs out of the way for her hug while the kids try to yammer about their days..) He has to go shut himself in the bedroom for fifteen minutes to let everyone calm down

Just picturing the bedlam at your front door is VERY Funny, I think of Noah, OR Dr. Doolittle LOL

But seriously, this is taking a very strange "male" "female" twist,I don't like it, should not be this way, I know with my daughter it is because she lets the animal do whatever it wants, I am more "strict"

Do you think there's a common denominator? Are your husbands more strict with the animals? I have discussed this problem with my daughter, explained to her that it's her responsibility to take a more active role in training the animal, but she just likes loving them
(she is now sitting next to me laughing LOL)

 

[Sterling1113]

Joe, the way my boyfriend explains it is the common situation of 'wanting what you can't have.'
Like.. You have vanilla ice cream in the freezer. Always. You go out and see chocolate ice cream , you want it. Yeah you can go home and have vanilla, but you ALWAYS have that. You gotta get that chocolate ice cream before it's gone.

Same thing with the animals. They look at me and say "you're here 24/7, you feed us, love us, spend every day with us. But Brad is gone all day, and doesn't smother us like you do! We want HIS love! If we pass this up we might never get it again! But you're ALWAYS here so you're less exciting than him."

Hope that makes sense.

 

[Selestine]

Hmm, I guess I'm not sure. I am definitely the one who does all of the training, but once we've laid out what the rules are he is just as good about making sure everyone follows them as I am.

He's more likely to let brats get away with stealing his baked potato than I am, though. I'd like to let them steal my baked potato, but since he's so terrible about the table food I have to be good so we don't overdo it

[ame="http://youtu.be/l-9EgXZ6cJg"]potatothief - YouTube[/ame]

My husband claims it is like Sterling says -- that he is just gone all day and I am a stay at home mom, so everyone wants him because he is more of a rare commodity, but I don't think that is what it is. We've been married twelve years now and I've yet to meet an animal that didn't love him. He even stayed at home for six months once and a stray gave birth to a litter of kittens in our garage that we took in until we could find homes for them, and they all wanted him too So there goes his theory, if you ask me.

My theory is that his feet produce a magical animal enticing smell. It repels humans, but animals want to chew his socks and lick his toes and love him forever.

 

[RavensGryf]

We have a kitty. She was supposed to be mine. No. Then we got a puppy. He was supposed to be mine. No. How can a puppy NOT be mine when I feed him, play with him, teach him all his tricks, take him to class, am the one that caves in and lets him up on the bed? But no..

Then we took in brother-in-law's dog.. should have seen that one coming too, since brother-in-law is the hubby's twin, but the dog is afraid of all men except BIL and the hubby.

Then the kids get birds. Nope, those are hubby's too. I get Zephyr. He is hubby's, too. All animals belong to hubby and it doesn't matter who does what for them. I promise, if you bring your favourite animal over here, it will also belong to hubby. It's very frustrating.

Then again, I think it is also frustrating for hubby. When he walks in the door it sounds like a zoo. All the birds start screaming, the cat meows and runs back and forth across the counter. The great dane tries to knock him over and the boxer tries to jump over the great dane who is blocking him from daddy. (The wife tries to shove the dogs out of the way for her hug while the kids try to yammer about their days..) He has to go shut himself in the bedroom for fifteen minutes to let everyone calm down.

I think we're going to slowly and steadily keep adding animals to our family until SOMEONE likes me better.

Oh my gosh LOLOLOL!!!! You just hang in there, and keep adding more animals until you find your special little someone haha. Meanwhile your poor hubby is overrun with animals! :11:

 

[RavensGryf]

Do you think there's a common denominator? Are your husbands more strict with the animals? I have discussed this problem with my daughter, explained to her that it's her responsibility to take a more active role in training the animal, but she just likes loving them
(she is now sitting next to me laughing LOL)

Don only wants to love and play with Raven. Shoulder him, let him do whatever he wants, etc. He doesn't know anything about training, and doesn't want to learn. :31: Raven just loves him.
I think for Raven, being with Don is like going to "grandma's house" where you can get away with things that you can't with mom and dad, get spoiled, etc... Lol