How long did it take you to bond with your adopted parrot?

[lac575]

Just wondering how long it took bird parents who adopted instead of purchasing a baby, to bond with their parrot?

Ours is a 2 years old Senegal parrot who we named Darwin. He rides around on our shoulders, falls asleep on us when we sit with him and lets us scratch his head for a few seconds at a time. He steps-up, waves, turns around and targets within distances that are reasonable to him. He did not know how to do these things when we got him 3 weeks ago.

Darwin bit my husband and I twice each during the first few days that we had him. The bites were out of fear and not aggression. We must have sent him confusing signals/moved too fast. He has not bitten us since and actually shows an encouraging level of bite inhibition now (my husband dropped something which was very loud when Darwin was on me but he did not bite me even though he got startled. Darwin will also push me away with his beak or move away himself if he wants space, instead of biting). I can tell he does not want to bite.

I do not think we are fully bonded though. I know this will take a while. I am hopeful that when we do bond completely, he will be comfortable with our hands and us touching him, which is not something he is not really comfortable with right now.

I think we are making good progress, I certainly hope that we are. From what I have read, we are. There is a fine line between encouraging him and pushing him...I do not want to screw things up by pushing him. The little guy is teaching us immense patience because all we want to do is love on him but we have to show restraint.

So how long did it take you guys to bond with your adopted baby??

Thanks!
~Darwin's Parents~

 

[itzjbean]

I see that you posted this twice, just a heads up that here on this forum we like to stick with just one thread for asking the same questions or it shows up twice in the 'active topics' link on the top of the page.

As for your question, I have two cockatiels. One is a weaned baby (Ember) I recently got a month ago, one is a 7 year old male I adopted 3 years ago (Boo). They are very different birds.

The older male (Boo) came to me with another bird, his mate Peach. He trusted me pretty much right away in terms of stepping up and hanging out on my shoulder. It took a few days to warm up but the two were very content to hang out on top of their cage with each other. They had babies for me in 2016 and that was an experience.... they change when they have babies, they get aggressive and protective of their nest box and babies.

Sadly earlier this year I lost the female to liver and kidney failure so it was just Boo by himself for a while, and he was pretty lonely. He will still sit on my shoulder and step up for me but he won't let me pet him or touch him, no. He will lunge at me in the cage if I catch him in an off mood so I don't test his boundaries too often.

After having my weaned baby it seems clearer to me that Boo prefers other birds. That's okay, I want to make him happy, so I plan to get him a new mate/female companion in time.

 

[Laurasea]

Hi Darwin's parents! Congratulations!! How wonderful he is getting a second chance. I look forward to hearing more about him.
Penny the Quaker is a rescue I saved from a bad situation around the first of the month. She was crammed into a fench cage with a very dirty inches of poop in it and that took up 3/4 of her available space. Her feathers were dirty and matted, and only sunflower seeds to eat. I would say that as if today she trusts me 90%, she too will beak me and push me away if I aprouch to fast or rush her. I wouldn't say we are fully bonded yet, but she is very happy to see me, very eager to spend time with me, and let's me pet her is willing to at least try any new food I offer her. She is just starting to show her personality. I would say 80% of her fear is gone. But she only wants me to aprouch from the front of the cage, and she likes to take a few moments looking me up and down, before she will step up. Today I was on hands and knees cleaning beside her cage, and she very quietly snuck down and stepped onto my shoulder! I was taken by surprise but managed not to jump through the roof! If felt like real milestone!!!

 

[Jen5200]

All of my birds were different as far as bonding time.... and their personal boundaries are all different in how they want to be handled and interacted with. It sounds like you are making great progress with Darwin, but I would be cautious about assuming that he’ll be totally comfortable with hands once you are bonded. I don’t say that to downplay your progress or say that he’ll never be comfortable with hands - only to say that sometimes birds have preferences and it wouldn’t diminish your bond if he preferred not to be handled in certain ways

Baby and Tango came to me as an adult pair. I’ve had them for a couple of years now and I would say that they trust me and I have a bond with them. They prefer each other’s company some of the time, but definitely enjoy spending time with me. Tango is more independent than Baby, and Tango enjoys touching on his own terms (although he loves to sit on my shoulder and just be with me). It was probably 3 months before Baby trusted me completely and a couple months longer for Tango.

Bindi came to me as an adult and is definitely bonded with both my husband and I. She was easy and trusting and is a total “velcro-bird” who wants to be on a person all the time. I think we had a pretty good bond established after a month.

Screamer is around 6 and came to live with us in April - she formed a great bond with my husband in a couple of months, and didn’t really bond with me at all. I interact with her and give her attention, but she doesn’t have any real desire to come to me. I think she trusts me but is not really attached to me, if that makes any sense.

 

[lac575]

Thank you for your responses.

itzjbean: I apologize for posting twice. I did not know it would show up twice in active topics. I did not know which topic it would be best to post under. How do I delete the other post? I tried but did not see an option to do so. Thank you for your helpful response.

Laurasea: How wonderful that you adopted her. The conditions she used to live in sound horrendous and make me so sad to read. Thank goodness for people who adopt. Bless your heart. This is not at all a pat on the shoulder to myself. I just really appreciate anyone who adopts animals and even children. I am happy she is in a better situation. Congrats on achieving milestones-they are a big deal! I would love to see a picture of her?

Jen5200: You are so right. Of course, different birds are different. It was great to read about your different experiences with each of your birds. It is very helpful. I would say that our bird trusts us but is not attached to us as well. While I hope that he will let us touch him more one day, we will still love him dearly even if he will never be ok with us touching his body.

 

[ChristaNL]

I do not know what you mean with bonding?
Is it totall trust, totall interdependence?

=
Japie (at least 18 y.old now, at least 15 then) decided to be my parrot even when I just came to take a look-
he had previously bitten 5 other people who came to see him (I did not know that at the time!), with me he decided almost instantly to play nice, ask for scritches and even regurgitate ...
no way he gave me a chance to make up my mind .. he already made his choice!
So he moved in.

But it still took us a few months to get used to each other and for me to really trust that sharp beak anywhere near me.
(I had to wrap him up and feed him antibiotics twice a day for some weeks -because he tested positive for psittacosis on the routine exam- .. he did not even mind!)

=
It was more or less the same with D. (14 y. old) (no longer alive) - she came down from her cage and took her time to take a good look at me, after about half an hour she just climbed in her carier by herself and was ready to go.
She never looked back and was the perfect gentlewoman till the day she died.
Instant "okay, you are my human now" and then just a matter of getting used to each other quirks and preferences. (She was SO not a morningparrot!)

=
Appie (8 y.old) was a different story: she was being held by her jittery owner so it was difficult to get a good feel/look about each other. But she did step up immediately when she got the chance - and I got the hint about the bird she could be - so I decided to take a chance: all the way home she decided to sit on my fingers instead of the perch in the carier...
She is a more "look first- leap later" kind of bird, but she always is interested and never mean to anyone. And fiendishly clever, that one- she is the one that speaks on the right moments (not on cue), figures out how to open doors etc..
She even put herself through a training programm to fix her cramped wing (too small a cage for far too long).
I trust her and she trusts me.
That took us only a few months (to make it official) but the deal was made in the car ride home.

=
Sunny (10 y.old).... did not really have a choice; her owners decided she would be better off in my house - and I could not really 'get a feel' for this turned inside herself/ acting out miserable looking macaw, but I really wanted her to have a chance at something beter than hanging on the cage-ceiling by herself for a huge part of each day.
The car ride home was amazing: she was stressed out - of course- but when we started singing (she loves bawdy songs, just our luck) she relaxed and even almost fell asleep. The next vetappointment (2 days after that) she actively looked to me for support and leaned in, and later on miraculously decided not to remove a finger when the anesthesia wore off (parrots are generally quite disoriented and likely to *really* bite - without intention, its just reflex) - the vet really freaked out when Sunny squirmed out of the towel and got hold of my finger (and I must admit I was not so happy about it myself - but only got really scared when I saw the CAV freak out)
She has a lot of issues (healthwise, behaviour etc.) but we are learning about each other and now 7 months in our journey together some trust is there, but since she is still lashing out (out of pain and fear mostly) ... its not complete trust yet.

=
(saving the best for last?)

My very first CAG , Rico (age unknown, 25+ at least when we met) (R.I.P.) just decided one day I was his human (his previous owner had died suddenly of heartfaillure a few years earlier and his then girlfriend was afraid of him, but kept Rico around for sentimental reasons).
- he actually taught me how to handle a parrot (I was 12 y. old at that time!) and became not only my teacher but my best friend ever.
I still miss him so much, and will never forget the moment he decided to take the first step (literally) and come to my hand.
He touched my heart ... and broke it years later
.

 

[Laurasea]

If you would like to see Penny, go to the quaker page then Rescuing Penny thread, the last page has pictures of when I first brought her home, then her glamour shot! It soothes my heart to see her improvement

 

[GaleriaGila]

I'll take a look at your two threads and see if they need merging.

Oh, I love to tell this story! Thanks for an excuse! It took about five seconds for us to become besties...
I got the Rickeybird in 1984. When I walked into a bird store in New Mexico 34 years ago, the Rickeybird (a 3-month-old chick) flapped and flew and scrambled into my arms, turned on his back, and grabbed my fingers with his feet. He seemed glued to me. It was a perfect storm of my impulsiveness, his instant adoration, and the fact that I had just gotten paid by my college work-study job... I took him home. Using his band, I traced his breeder. We exchanged photos and letters (this was pre-'net, y'all!)... and she could have been my sister! We were both tall, thin, with long red hair and Poindexter glasses, long faces and big toothy smiles. The Rb thought his mommy (or close enough) had walked in to rescue him. And that was that.
I kept him pretty well socialized until we moved up North to Ohio... then, one thing led to another, and I failed him, really. He is now a one-person bird, sadly. In my defense, since he became a rooster at about 4 years of age, he really has been a little Genghis Khan. Genghis Conure, my vet calls him.

 

[MonicaMc]

Just wondering how long it took bird parents who adopted instead of purchasing a baby, to bond with their parrot?
I've never purchased a hand raised chick directly from a breeder. I do have one that did come from a breeder as a hand raised bird, but I didn't pick her out and buy her directly from said breeder. In fact, she was a surprise gift to me from friends of the family.

The majority of the others have been mostly second hand, plus, birds. I've had one bird bond to me instantly the moment he was in my home (didn't care for me before then!) to others that took time to form a bond with me to never, and I'm okay with that!

I do not think we are fully bonded though. I know this will take a while. I am hopeful that when we do bond completely, he will be comfortable with our hands and us touching him, which is not something he is not really comfortable with right now.
If your definition of being fully bonded to a bird essentially comes down to man handling (in a gentle way, of course! not aggressively!) then I think you need to rethink what you feel is "bonded". To me, Darwin sounds happy and enjoys interacting with you and your husband.

Not all birds will accept being physically handled in every which way possible but still are very much bonded to their humans. My conure, whom I've had since he was 12 years old (he's 24 now) and basically bonded to me once I took him home but wanted nothing to do with me prior to that I can do a lot of things with. I can lay him on his back, I can gently toss him in the air, touch him anywhere (not that I do, since he could take those touches as 'sexy time'!), etc. When people ask me, "How did you teach him to lay there as you toss him in the air?". The answer? Quite simply, I was handed a bird who had no interest in me and the only way to keep him on me was to lay him on his back in the palm of my hand. What the heck am I supposed to do with a bird who has *NO* interest in interacting with me?!??! So I started gently tossing him in the air... It's nothing that I taught him to do, it just happened.

Now Casey, the hand raised cockatiel that was purchased for me from friends of the family is 17 years old. I've had her since she was 5 months old. She's always been a happy go lucky kind of person and will accept scritches from just about anyone! That said, I have the easiest time interacting with her. A lot of other people tend to just grab at her and she freaks out and runs or flies off. I can get Casey to come to me for scritches and she'll even fly to me. That doesn't mean that there aren't times when Casey just ignores me, though! But as a general rule of thumb, she's good at coming to me. I've had her longer than I've had Charlie, and there are things that I can do with Charlie that I would never do with her, such as putting her on her back and tossing her in the air. Putting on a harness? Out of the question! (she'd have to be trained to wear one, and she isn't, nor have I tried training her for one) Still, I can interact with her in ways that many other cockatiel owners can't. I can pick her up as if she were a toy, plop her on my chest and give her scritches and she's perfectly fine with that! Other cockatiels? They'd be freaking out!


You might say the difference between them is that one is a conure and the other is a cockatiel... although there is some truth to that, it's not the entire truth. My first conure? The complete opposite of Charlie! Noel wasn't aggressive, but he never cuddled, rarely liked head scritches, didn't like being held for more than 30-60 seconds at a time, etc. I was the only one who *could* interact with him, even if our interactions were often limited by his preferences and comfort-ability. My third conure? She was in-between Charlie and my first conure. She was more hands on than my first conure, Noel, ever was... but not *nearly* as hands on as Charlie. It took two weeks before she was brave enough to get on my shoulder, and even then she was still so skittish and scared. In her foster home, she didn't have the courage to leave her cage. For 6 months. She had left it a few times, but was never truly comfortable there. (nothing wrong with that foster home, either! Other than maybe it being over-run with a bunch of conures!) She always had a fear of stepping on hands, but she loved scritches! She loved to sit on my shoulder, preen my face, talk into my ear and just overall spend time with me! But I couldn't easily get her on my hands or handle her in any way like I did with Charlie. I would say that she was also bonded to me, however, she would have bonded stronger to me if I was at least twice my age or older... you see, Jayde had a thing for elderly women and I'm young(er). This was made drastically clear when she decided she liked an older woman of my local bird club. Jayde would leave me and fly to her and would get quite upset when I had to separate her from her "chosen person". Once we were back home though, she was back to normal interacting with me.



What I'm trying to get at is that birds can bond differently to different people, and just because a bird isn't completely hands on and trusting doesn't mean that the bird *ISN'T* bonded to you. It really varies depending on the bird and the human.

 

[noodles123]

I adopted an umbrella cockatoo who had 2 owners prior to me (excluding the breeder).
I think the process is ongoing, even after years, but I would say that it was around 3 months when my bird suddenly became "my bird" (it was a really weird and noticeable light-bulb kind of moment). Prior to that, she would act like she was going to bite and did so at times (EDIT= MOST times lol). She also didn't often want to be held and wouldn't step-up....Now, she can't get enough (which has to be kept in-check as well obviously lol). Much later, I can touch her beak without fear etc, and scratch by her eyes and I wouldn't have even been able to do that at 3 months (despite the formation of a bond at that point), so again, ongoing.
Also, this bond is not impervious to upsets---when I boarded her for the first time, she was SO happy to see me. But then, about 2 WHOLE DAYS later, she became really cranky and that lasted for about a week (in waves) before she completely was back to her old self.

 

[chris-md]

Agree with all the above.

I adopted my male Ekkie, and while he was always well behaved, the bond was very slow to grow. 9 months in and I was questioning “why’d I get him?” I wasn’t feeling particularly over the moon in love with him. I believe I even described him as more being a set of behaviors rather than showing individual personality <— hard to explain that, other than to say you fall in love with personality and simply observe behavior and react to it.

I would say I loved him, but it always rang hollow.

It took over a year before actual love began to creep in and I saw more than just a set of behaviors through to the beautiful personality that is Parker.

Sometimes it’s instant, sometimes it isn’t. It’ll work itself out in the end.

 

[Goldenconure1]

I feel so often that dciding is one of the hardest parts as you always wonder what if

 

[LeslieA]

Every bird is different! It also makes a difference whether it's a rehome or a rescue.

My conures, Sun, GCC and BCC, have all trusted me right off as 15mo rehomes and a 23yo rehome.

Rescues usually take longer.
I've known Glenn for over 3 years and still suffer blood loss and bites. He'll probably die before "bonding" to me.
Sherman just limped out of her cage a few weeks ago.
JoJo still seems mad at me but is happy to see me.
I knew a man who had a rescued Pionus 5 years before it bonded with him.

Someone asked me, what the difference between a rehome and a rescue was. The answer seemed simple.

Rehomes have had positive human experiences. Often they are just moving to a new home. My 3 conures are good examples.

Rescues have had negative human experiences and sometimes have been abused or neglected. My other birds, except Tommy, are rescues.


Despite it all, I love them each, trust them, know them and their habits and preferences, feed them daily, clean cages weekly and spend private time with each.

 

[texsize]

Pacho and I bonded instantly. But then she picked me and I could not walk out of the store without her. Despite buying her in a store I consider her a rescue because the original owner took her to the store to be sold off.

Bella was a rescue (bought at a store again) and she was friendly with my whole family from day 1.


Luna is still a work in progress. I can't really say we have bonded and I have had her 1 year this December. She was found in the San Diego area and I volunteered to take her in. Her history is unknown and unknowable but I have the feeling she was part of a wild flock at one time. Someone got her somehow and did not like her screaming released her back into the wild. I have made progress with her and I am in it for the long haul.

She will step up on my hand but only when she is in a position of no other choice. what I mean by this is if she fly's and crashes somewhere she cant get out of she will step up on my hand without biting. Otherwise She will only step up onto my iPad and let me carry her around.


I think the main point I would make is that if the bird chooses you bonding will be quick. If you get a bird more or less at random it will take time and patients.

 

[ChristaNL]

Someone asked me, what the difference between a rehome and a rescue was. The answer seemed simple.

Rehomes have had positive human experiences. Often they are just moving to a new home. My 3 conures are good examples.

Rescues have had negative human experiences and sometimes have been abused or neglected. My other birds, except Tommy, are rescues.

It is still rather muddled in my head ... I now use the term 'rehomers' for them (found it on the forum) though all the parrots I've got came from really, really not-okay-for-them situations, so...that makes them rescues again?


Anyway the bond/working relationship with the one that did not have a say in the matter (Sunny) is growing. She off course had (and still has) a chance to say "no" to me and I would have found her another person (after the healingtime she so badly needs and some resocializing) but she seems to like me well enough for now.
Not sure how other people who get broken birds feel about this - but I always feel you cannot really speak of a bond (or not) till the bird is himself/herself again ...
it should be a choice for them, not a necessity.

 

[texsize]

Someone asked me, what the difference between a rehome and a rescue was. The answer seemed simple.

Rehomes have had positive human experiences. Often they are just moving to a new home. My 3 conures are good examples.

Rescues have had negative human experiences and sometimes have been abused or neglected. My other birds, except Tommy, are rescues.

By this standard I would say Pacho was a re-home. She was well cared for with the exception someone did something to her wings so that she was never capable of flight.

Bella was absolutely a rescue . the previous owners did not give her the care she needed and was in horrible shape when I bought her.

texsizze

 

[noodles123]

I never even considered the difference in the terminology between "rehome" and "rescue"---I call my bird a "re-home" but I also don't know THAT much about her past, as she had 3 owners before me (if you include the breeder) and 2 if you do not. Hmmm...That is an interesting thought.

 

[ChristaNL]

LOL If we keep this up...it's going be a seperate topic

 

[noodles123]

lol................true