Im glad noodles posted that video. Reading your post, I’m reminded of a video of theirs where Jamie explains how her galah is the one bird she cannot just “peel the toes off the perch to pick them up”. She will wrestle for 45 minutes sometimes to get their galah out of its cage using lures (food treats). She said galahs were particular like that.
So if your wife is being bitten, as said, it’s out of fear. Make sure your wife isn’t peeling toes up to force the bird to step up. Get it to step up using treats.
Never force an interaction.
Here's the video you (Chris-MD) referenced in terms of the "toe prying" lol--I didn't post this initially because the title seems so negative lol! It is possible to have one in your home as a family member---many of us do, but it is a huge undertaking at times. You can see that she has bonded with hers over time (based on the video above) but it takes a lot of time (and adjustment to THEIR quirks, not the other way around in many respects)--they are all of what she says by human standards (but that is the trick--you can't measure them that way, even though it will feel like they are all of those things and more at times)----That is part of their charm/madness/loveability (for those who keep theirs).
I will say that mine is a total ham and will turn on the charm for any camera/audience, so it really is hard to catch them acting in a way that isn't adorable (even though it happens!)
[ame="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2AmCQmKs9dY"]Why Cockatoos Make TERRIBLE Pets (Watch Mine Attack ME!) - YouTube[/ame]
Mine does let me pick her up 99% of the time IF I can call her bluff (assuming she is mad about me leaving)-- there is a lot of weird tonal communication/posturing (but not pushing) if she is already annoyed (e.g., weekday mornings) that has to happen with these birds-BUT it has to co-exist with a lot of trust and a very strong bond (Which can happen at any age, as long as you now how to react/are patient). When mine ignores my attempts to get her to step up, I act SUPER EXCITED and squawk "GIMMIE THOSE TOESIES!!!!" and then she will step up 98% of the time, even if acting like she will bite prior---this only works when you have a bond already established. You would never want to do this with a bird who didn't trust you completely, as it would make things worse and you would get bitten...it's just a lot of weird intuitive judgement that comes from being around them and bonding (plus LOTS of research/experience (including trial and error- which sometimes backfires for weeks)).
My 11-year-old Umbrella gets mad when I go to work--- she starts jerking her head at me etc--- normally I can put food into her cage without issue (heck, I can swing her upside down off of my fingers without issue--bird trusts me) BUT--- when it comes to leaving her for work, she gets mad. She HATES it (even though 85% of the time she does what I want--it took years to get here). I have to maintain eye-contact and total calm while saying, be gentle girl (as I place her fruit/veg bowl in the back of the cage and she is standing by my arm). Shortly after blustering around, she will often come out and rest her head on my chest like, "please don't leave!".She seriously rarely bites me these days (maybe 2x a year) but it has been a LONG road and I do a lot to keep it that way. When she does get mad, even her warning bites suck.
Once you have a bond, they are like eternal frat boys--- but cuter and a bit emo...
Mine was throwing food the other day, so I tossed a little link at her (and accidentally hit her on the side)--Instead of being mad/scared (which I anticipated), she got SUPER excited and wanted to play that game, but at the same time, moving a chair through the kitchen could throw her off the rails, so it is a tricky balance.
