Grieving Blue and Gold

[Backdoctor]

I have had my Blue and Gold, Mango for 29 years. I also had an African Gray, Mo for 28 years. They each had their cages, not really ever interacting with each other unless Mango quietly climbed down and went into Mo's cage.

Mo had an enlarged heart and while my wife was home and I was driving home he had a heart attack and passed away last night. I buried him when I got home. Mango was very quiet last night. Mo would make most of the noised, he'd whistle to me, talk, say "hiya boy", answer the phone.

Anyhow, when I got up to feed Mango, it was weird. No greeting from Moe, no hello. Mango was quiet. I gave him his food, but my wife said he wasnt eating. If I see he has not eaten when I get home, I will hand feed him on my lap.

Anyhow, while they were not really mates, is this normal, to mourn a housemate of 28 years? My sister suggested playing some music when I'm working.

Thought I"d put it out there and see what is recommended to help Mango. The house is so quiet now. Mango only made noise when Moe chirped.

Appreciate any input.

Harris

 

[mica21493]

Oh gosh, I'm so, so sorry for your loss. My B&G grieved as well, he is 26 and his companion Indian ring neck of 28 years passed away in June then my african grey who he was not as familiar with passed away in August so he became an only bird. It was heart breaking. He would call for his buddy, he went through periods of screaming. He seemed depressed. I gave him lots of his favorite foods and extra attention. We also put the TV on for him. He still calls for him but he is back to normal otherwise. I think the worst of it was only a month or two. Interestingly, he picked up the noise his buddy would make and he does that now and never did it previously. It's our contact call now when I leave the room. I also started doing some target training with him after becoming a member here. That worked really well to give him something to do and for us to bond more.

 

[Backdoctor]

Thank you for the reply. Yeah, I'm thinking more one on one. While I handle him, I dont take him everywhere I go like I did when he was younger. Partly because I'm always concerned I'm going to go for a walk and have him picked off my shoulder by a raptor. In the house he climbs down, walks over to me and will hang out on my lap or leg for a while.

I'm thinking some more one on one, play some light jazz, feed him some comfort food. I do NOT want to get another bird. It's a lot to travel and get people to care for them for me and when I retire I do plan to travel a bit more.

 

[mica21493]

That all sounds good. I was going to add this to my earlier post but deleted it because it was lengthy. 5 months later I did adopt another bird because I couldn't take being a one bird household any longer but my blue and gold still calls for his buddy. He doesn't really pay any attention to the new bird. I know all birds are different but I wouldn't worry about it at all if getting a second bird is not what you want. I'm sure he will be just fine with some extra TLC from you.
My aunt lost her 35 year old blue and gold to a heart condition and her 40 year old Amazon is grieving. He went through a period of biting her pretty badly but he is coming around and they did not get another bird.

 

[Laurasea]

I'm so sorry for your loss!! How hard on both of you! Yes he would greive even if they weren't buddy buddy.

My GCC lost her best buddy, she greived very hard for two weeks. I had her checked at vet to be sure she was ok, it was just greif. She didn't move, stated into space, I had to work at getting her to eat, sitting with her, feeding her....
It was really hard.
I hope you both are ok

 

[Backdoctor]

He didnt eat yesterday until I was home and started cleaning Moe's cage. He ate some. AFter I did his cage, I gave him some Avi Cake, walnuts and pellets. He ate the avi cake and walnuts.

This am, didnt eat except the cashew and peanut I fed him by hand. I left some light jazz music running. If he still had not eaten when I get home, will start more hand feeding, give him some treats. I need to get him in for his talons to be trimmed tomorrow, they are like needles. I have not been able to take him for a couple weeks. Then it will be easier to handle him, right now he's tearing up my arm and shoulder. I will have to put a towel on them to hold him.

 

[SailBoat]

Our Parrots, like us, are highly social creatures and even when a house partner that is not extremely close, they are still a member of the group. Grieving is as deep and meaningful whether they are Human or Parrot.

Special time is very important and sharing tears is fully understandable and just as necessary.

 

[Backdoctor]

I was going to remove Moe's old empty cage from the family room, but my sister who has years of experience rehabbing raptors said he is still a bit shocked and that may make him worse. He did eat some during the day and eats well when I'm home. I thought the empty cage may be a stress to him.

Anyone have experience with this?

 

[Scott]

My deepest condolences for your loss of Mo. Birds grieve in ways we cannot understand. They are creatures of routine and notice every aspect of their environment. I believe you are on the right track with extra 1 to 1 time, hand feeding, and creating a musical distraction.