Grey let me touch her once in the past year

[danbrah]

Grey let me touch her once in the past year; please help

I adopted an african grey about 1 year ago... needless to say she is always frightened and will try to attack you if you bring your fingers anywhere towards her other than for her to step up.
After nearly a year she started making these whimpering noises out of nowhere for the first time ever, and for the first time ever was bowing her head giving the sign she wants to be pet.. I then pet her for nearly an hour all over her neck, back, etc and she was the cutest ever.

After that event she returned to how she was and for the past months since then she hasn't let me touch her ever again.

Honestly i'm a bit frustrated with her because this is the most sassy parrot I've witnessed; I show her nothing but love and affection, treats and tons of things for her to do with her time yet she wont allow me to touch her with my hands, I can only rub her on my body or kiss her but I can not touch her with my hands without her turning aggressive, I also haven't been able to get her to step up ever without treats when she is sassy and wants to stay somewhere, if I try any other way she will attack me.

I really don't know what to do

 

[offthehookexotics]

Hi! Have you tried any training? Sometimes all a bird needs to do is build up some trust in you. It's hard for them to trust hands because they're fast and invasive. Try some sort of target training where she's out of the cage on a stand, and when she's calm, treat her. Move your hands closer to her, and again, when she is calm, treat. Over time she will learn that your hands aren't scary, and that they usually mean yummies! I hope this helps

 

[danbrah]

Hi! Have you tried any training? Sometimes all a bird needs to do is build up some trust in you. It's hard for them to trust hands because they're fast and invasive. Try some sort of target training where she's out of the cage on a stand, and when she's calm, treat her. Move your hands closer to her, and again, when she is calm, treat. Over time she will learn that your hands aren't scary, and that they usually mean yummies! I hope this helps

Well she already let me rub her everywhere with my hands before and enjoyed it, so she knows my hands are not dangerous, she is with me every single day going outside doing stuff etc and is not bothered by my hands but she really seems to DESPISE being touched with fingers yet she allowed it once and loved it.

Her past owner had told me that he would pet her all the time... so I am very confused

I think a big problem is with her dominance.. I feel like she is strongly dominant between our relationship because she will literally never go on my finger when she doesn't want to leave somewhere. even after a year of giving her treats when she steps on my finger; she will still try to attack my hands aggressively in that situation if I don't have any treats or wait for her to want to leave.. yet her past owner said she would never bite him and would step up whenever he wanted by a slight push on the stomach but for me she will NEVER let go of the perch if i tap her on the stomach instead she will hang on tighter and bite your finger, this is how sassy she is ..

what do i do? I feel like the problem of her stepping up and not allowing to be touched by my fingers are a huge sign of something that needs to be fixed

she always clings onto me for safety, and we always spend time together everyday nearly all day yet this is her attitude, she eats from my hands and interacts around them all day yet she reacts like this in the above situations.. i am very confused

 

[Sterling1113]

As I'm sure you know- African Gray's are very smart parrots, and sometimes they're quite difficult adjusting to a new home. It can take months, even years to completely build trust with a Gray. And even then, like Alexandrines and Eclectus, they're not a very "hands-on" bird. Many Grays have a fantastic bond with their human, but simply don't like to be touched. That could very well be the case with your bird.
That doesn't mean she doesn't like you! Clearly you have a good bond; she just doesn't like to be touched. And that's okay. Some birds just need their personal space. Try not to get too frustrated with her, then she'll feel like she's being punished for no reason, since her human is so upset and she just doesn't know why.

 

[danbrah]

As I'm sure you know- African Gray's are very smart parrots, and sometimes they're quite difficult adjusting to a new home. It can take months, even years to completely build trust with a Gray. And even then, like Alexandrines and Eclectus, they're not a very "hands-on" bird. Many Grays have a fantastic bond with their human, but simply don't like to be touched. That could very well be the case with your bird.
That doesn't mean she doesn't like you! Clearly you have a good bond; she just doesn't like to be touched. And that's okay. Some birds just need their personal space. Try not to get too frustrated with her, then she'll feel like she's being punished for no reason, since her human is so upset and she just doesn't know why.

What about the problem of getting her to step up without getting so aggravated even after being with me for so long, and constantly trying to get her to not get bothered when I ask her to step up with treats etc

 

[Sterling1113]

As I'm sure you know- African Gray's are very smart parrots, and sometimes they're quite difficult adjusting to a new home. It can take months, even years to completely build trust with a Gray. And even then, like Alexandrines and Eclectus, they're not a very "hands-on" bird. Many Grays have a fantastic bond with their human, but simply don't like to be touched. That could very well be the case with your bird.
That doesn't mean she doesn't like you! Clearly you have a good bond; she just doesn't like to be touched. And that's okay. Some birds just need their personal space. Try not to get too frustrated with her, then she'll feel like she's being punished for no reason, since her human is so upset and she just doesn't know why.

What about the problem of getting her to step up without getting so aggravated even after being with me for so long, and constantly trying to get her to not get bothered when I ask her to step up with treats etc

She just might not trust you 100% yet, and that's completely normal. Especially for Gray's.
It's spring time now, so it could be her mating season(depending on her age and your location) so she could be exceptionally moody for a few weeks.
Just keep being patient with her, using treats, talking to her, all the things you do to build trust with a bird.
Is she only nippy/aggravated with you when you ask her to step up from the cage? Or from anywhere? You might want to perch-train her. (train her to step up on a perch that you're holding rather than you hands) then either use that to get her from point A to point B or ask her to step up from the perch to your hand. That's what I have to do with my eclectus, he's protective of his cage and finger-scared.

 

[danbrah]

As I'm sure you know- African Gray's are very smart parrots, and sometimes they're quite difficult adjusting to a new home. It can take months, even years to completely build trust with a Gray. And even then, like Alexandrines and Eclectus, they're not a very "hands-on" bird. Many Grays have a fantastic bond with their human, but simply don't like to be touched. That could very well be the case with your bird.
That doesn't mean she doesn't like you! Clearly you have a good bond; she just doesn't like to be touched. And that's okay. Some birds just need their personal space. Try not to get too frustrated with her, then she'll feel like she's being punished for no reason, since her human is so upset and she just doesn't know why.

What about the problem of getting her to step up without getting so aggravated even after being with me for so long, and constantly trying to get her to not get bothered when I ask her to step up with treats etc

She just might not trust you 100% yet, and that's completely normal. Especially for Gray's.
It's spring time now, so it could be her mating season(depending on her age and your location) so she could be exceptionally moody for a few weeks.
Just keep being patient with her, using treats, talking to her, all the things you do to build trust with a bird.
Is she only nippy/aggravated with you when you ask her to step up from the cage? Or from anywhere? You might want to perch-train her. (train her to step up on a perch that you're holding rather than you hands) then either use that to get her from point A to point B or ask her to step up from the perch to your hand. That's what I have to do with my eclectus, he's protective of his cage and finger-scared.

Hmm.. she does this anywhere she would like to stay. From her cage to the steering wheel, anywhere she is interested in going to or staying she will treat me with aggression if I get in her way.