Experiencing some separation anxiety?

[Kiwibird]

After we moved, it took a good 6 months for my hubby to find a good job that he really wanted, so he was home a LOT more than usual (pretty much everyday). He started his new job on Thursday, and given the commute and the fact he's now in a "intensive" 8 week training program for it, he will be leaving around 5am and not get home until around 6pm. It will probably not change much after he's through training, as it's salaried and he was told to expect about 50 hour work weeks and has a 30-45 minute commute (but thats on public transport, we should be getting a second car in a couple months, then it would be about a 20 minute commute). We used to work relatively opposing schedules, so Kiwi wasn't really alone for more than 4/5 hours ever and adapted well to independent play time while we were at work. Now I work from home, so I will be here all day, every day with Kiwi, though we've been trying to give him some "alone time" every afternoon so he remains independent.

As much as I love the little monster, Joe is definitely his "favored" person for sure. He "tolerates" me because I won't allow for him to be a vicious beast towards me and he knows I'm not going to hurt him or anything, but he really isn't super in love with me. Thursday, he seemed ok, just a little confused where his daddy was and was making his contact calls randomly. Yesterday though, he was very antsy and uncooperative all day. He wouldn't come down off his cage until late afternoon and just kind of paced and was making those "noises of urgency" he makes that precede major squawking all day, though he didn't actually freak out and start screaming (I think he wanted to though). He normally likes to come around with me when I make the bed, and is especially fond of "helping" with dishes and dinner prep, but he refused to get on my hand or his perch. I gave him some leniency these past 2 days because he did get his "routine" uprooted again, but come Monday, I need to start doing something different because the amount of anxiety he had yesterday makes me very concerned we may regress in his overall training and behavior. Maybe I'm more worried than him, but just in case, I want to nip any potential behavioral issues in the bud. Thing is, I really don't know what I can do when being around and offering him to come hang out and do his favored activities isn't enough? He doesn't interact in other ways than being on his perch watching me or playing with a toy while I'm doing something, and he's always been happy doing that. What am I suppose to do with him now if he's uninterested in those things and just wants to anxiously pace his cage? Suggestions?

 

[BirdyMomma]

My personal opinion is that you need to give him time to adapt. He doesn't understand what "work" is. All he knows is that his favorite person is not there in the same capacity, and he is concerned.
I would let him decide what he wants to do. If he feels better staying in his cage, then let him be there. I would sit next to the cage, and talk to him. Re assure him that you are still there, and he is not alone.
You may be surprised after he acclimates to the new situation, that you may become his new favorite. If you spend the time bonding with him, I bet that is what will happen.

 

[jenphilly]

I always compare the birds to toddler.... and like kids they can adapt well with love and support.

Your husband will need to fuss over him a bit and like a kid, establish a new routine.

During the day, let him sulk for a bit if he wants, but remind him every so often you are there and he is missing on fun you will still do without him. From all I have read about your Kiwi, he won't be able to pout for too long.

Hes still in his home, hes just adjusting.... we all need time to adjust, feathers or not!!!

 

[goalerjones]

We have a similar situation here. My commute went from 5 miles to 30 miles each way. I have unpredictable hours and do call as well. Hahnzel did not understand the separation either but we had spent lots of time socializing him with everyone (who wanted to) so he's not a one person bird. I am his favorite person, but he will hang out with my son and wife.

What my wife and son have done is to keep him honest. He isn't allowed to manipulate simply because he's unhappy. And through the consistency of their actions he is happier with them now.

 

[Kiwibird]

Maybe I have been freaking out a bit. 2 days isn't much of an adjustment but I am going to proactive about this and monitor his behavior closely. Kiwi was a major biter and screamer when we got him. I know he "has it in him", so him being anxious makes me anxious. He was perfectly happy today (husband home all day for weekend), so we shall see on Monday when he goes back to work and go from there. Thank you all though, I know deep down he needs to adjust, but it's still nerve wracking that if he has difficulties, I'm going to have to deal with a very upset parrot all on my own for 10+ hours a day. I just want to prevent rather than react

 

[goalerjones]

I'd say, ignore your thoughts about how he MIGHT feel. I don't come home apologizing to Hahnzel for being gone all day, I just go right to him and attack him with fun time. I might have to survive a nip here and there, but I just get right to the socializing once I'm home.

I also make sure I give him at least a good half hour in the morning of daddy time before I leave.