Do your loved ones think you're nuts?

[veimar]

My Mom came to visit me from Europe for a whole month, and she totally doesn't understand my love for birds. She thinks I've gone nuts and just wasting my time with them! She even asked me why wouldn't I get rid of them! :11: Mom is a really nice person but she is kinda bossy and has absolutely no interest in gardening, birds and wildlife (my biggest hobbies). I tried to explain to her that all people are different and have different interests, and she sort of agreed, but I feel it didn't really convince her. Her main question about my parrots is "What are they for?" and I really cannot even think how to answer…
Do you guys have the same problems with your loved ones? Do they get nasty with you for having your birds and the mess they produce?
I'm really upset now. Whenever I want to cuddle with my birds (just a few minutes) she would always say something like "you only think about your birds and not about anyone else." I really DO think a lot about them because they're like babies for me (unfortunately I cannot have real ones). I'm trying to be very friendly and loving with my mom, but I don't really know what to say when someone you love puts down your interests all the time and makes you feel like an idiot. What would you say in such situation to keep it out of conflict?

 

[MikeyTN]

Oh I've got the same issue with my loved ones!!!! BUT the thing my family knew a long time ago that I have the passion for animals, gardening, etc. So they don't say too much now days, they'll fuss about the expense I put into my plants when they found out how much I spent on my garden. But they get quite impressed when they see my house plants and my garden. They go WoW.....They'll fuss at my brother or sister about their pets more then with me. It's gotten better over the years.

 

[BoomBoom]

Sorry your mom is not very understanding or accepting of your birds. At first, my family made comments that made it clear that they thought I was crazy or overboard when it came to Boomer. Some comments, though not offensive, hurt me a little because of how insignificant Boomer seemed to them. So I made a statement and stopped talking or seeing them for over a year. They kept asking me why, and I just said that while they (mom, stepdad and brothers) have each other, Boomer only has me to depend on - and so spending my free time with him instead of them was no question. I think they understood from that point on and never talked bad about Boomer. They know he comes first to me. I've been seeing and talking to them again. They always ask me now to take Boomer with me to come visit them lol!

My point is, I guess, your loved ones should value what you value. They must see and understand what you find most important. If they don't, then show them. If they refuse to see, then let them be until they are ready to accept. Put the things you love the most on top.

 

[BoomBoom]

PS. I don't recommend that you do what I did of course. Just show her your unwavering devotion to your birds in the face of her disapproval.

You do you.

 

[RavensGryf]

They always ask me now to take Boomer with me to come visit them lol!

That's really nice that they came to respect your feelings, so far as to even include him in the family! Now he's nvited over with you just like another family member Great!

I'm thankful that my dad respects my feelings of my love for my birds even though he can't relate.
My mom used to hate birds (afraid of them), until one day and she was already a senior citizen, I convinced her she needed a pet BIRD when she had expressed that she wanted a pet. Somehow she was open to giving it a try. Now she LOVES her Bourke's and Princess parakeets!

I have no siblings, but the rest of my relatives probably can't relate to me, and I don't care At least my non-bird friends and family keep respectful and don't say anything bad to my face!

 

[Dinosrawr]

When Avery flew escaped for 40 minutes, it was the worst 40 minutes of my life. And, of course, no one could understand why on earth I was so shaken up about her flying away during that time because she was "just a bird". I've found that because so few people understand birds, and parrots in particular, that they dismiss the immense companionship and camaraderie you gain when they come into your life. I would've never thought that parrots could be so emotional, so attached, and so wonderful to add into your family until they came into my life.

When my family and friends found out I got parrots, they weren't too surprised. I'm well known as an animal lover in my family and come from a family of animal lovers. My mother was more surprised and upset when she found out I wanted a snake of all things, haha! It's more along the lines of things I do that result in my family or friends questioning me.

"Why do they need that food?", "Why do you have to buy that?", "Why can't you just use this?", "Aren't they just birds?"

Those questions are constant, all the time. Yes, I bought a $75 food processor for my birds, not me. Yes, I scrounge around my university and run away with giant tree branches that they trim and haven't removed. No, I don't use harsh chemicals or non-stick pans. And yes, I will choose my parrot over you, because as you've said, my birds depend on me for a good life. You wouldn't adopt a child and then tell them to sit in their room all day and eat bread crumbs, would you?

 

[RavensGryf]

Veimar - I'm sorry your mom had to express her feelings about birds the way she did. Sometimes people just say things "matter of fact" without consideration of feelings.
Hopefully you'll have a wonderful time together, and by the time she leaves who knows, even if she can't relate, she might witness the interaction and the bond there coming FROM the birds, and it might open her eyes to it a little? Otherwise, TRY not to worry about it, and remember to tell yourself that MOST people don't understand birds or bird people!

 

[BoomBoom]

I scrounge around my university and run away with giant tree branches...

Great visual description, I can't stop laughing now!

 

[RavensGryf]

found that because so few people understand birds, and parrots in particular, that they dismiss the immense companionship and camaraderie you gain when they come into your life. I would've never thought that parrots could be so emotional, so attached, and so wonderful to add into your family until they came into my life.

I think people have the "just a bird" attitude because it's only natural to see wild birds outside and think they're just vermin like other small wild animals! The wild (non-pet species) of birds we see day to day don't exactly inspire people to look and say "wow... now those are some intelligent and sensitive creatures there!"

 

[TessieB]

People think I'm odd. Well, I think people are odd so I guess me and the human race will get along. I'm old enough where I don't really care what people think of me. I'm more worried about what the animals under my care think of me.

 

[Phlox]

People have come to expect me being that person with the animals, so luckily I don't really get a hard time about it.

 

[hacatta]

my mother tells me i go overboard all the time,the catch...she has 8 parrots herself!!!!!!!!!
Just because i can get a little carried away ,doesn't give her any right at all to say something about it.
My grandparents aren't happy with our birds(grandma is deadly allergic for birds)but don't say anything and do ask about them ,because they know they make me happy.
The rest of my family pretty much demand pictures and such every while and then,Just to check that they are treated like royalty(my family exists off a bunch of animal rights activists.(i think they don't treat theirs right!!!)

 

[Birdman666]

Most of the people who think I'm nuts do so before they even realize I have birds... :32:

But, yeah, non-animal people generally don't get it. I stopped trying to explain it to them long ago. As the old saying goes: "Never try to teach a pig to sing, it wastes your time, and annoys the pig."

The only answer I give to this one, is "They are my companion animals, and having them around makes me happy." No further justification is required. If they persist, then they are the ones "annoying the pig" at that point. And the best answer I have found to that one, "If you don't like them, then don't get one."

 

[SilverSage]

I am very sorry that she doesn't understand. My family came to grips with my love of birds a long time ago, but new friends are often stunned when they hear how many I have and are sure I must be a hoarder and live in filth. When they come to my house, see that most of my birds are small, that they are clean and happy, and how sweet they are, they often come around. Sadly, some people will never understand. I try to explain to them that I don't feel alive or at home unless I have my flock, pack, and family around me. Most people kind of assume it is because we don't have kids, and I let them think that.

 

[Sterling1113]

My family always thought I was a little bit 'off'. But I was the first child, so they dismissed it as me being the 'mistake bucket' for parenting. Lol.
Nobody really says anything about my birds now that I'm on my own though.. My brother hates birds so he was confused about what I was so fascinated about.
My mom thought they were interesting but treated them like toys. (Poking, prodding, etc).
My dad doesn't really have a respect for boundaries, so he's taken quite a few bites for invading their personal space even though I told him they didn't like it. (Kiwi got him on the lip once.. I laughed my butt off.)
My sister likes them though. So that makes 2 out of 5 members of my family. Haha. I think it's because she's young and impressionable but hey, I had my first bird at her age so I don't see why she can't love birds too.
Sorry you're having issues with your mom. Hopefully you guys can sort of 'agree to disagree' and she won't question anything anymore so long as you don't shove it in her face. (And I'm not saying you were, but she may have seen it that way. Normally when people walk into a house the first thing you see isn't a big cage/play area/etc for a bird LOL)
My excuse? I'm allergic to cats, so I'm a crazy-bird-lady instead. It's only fair.

 

[jugoya]

My husband used to be one of those guys.

His just a 'bird' statements would drive me batty as I did all sorts of things for my untamed budgies that he didn't think were nessisary. I paid for vet bills on my own, despite helping him keep the apartment he had when he quit his job while going to school full time.

I've always paid the vet bills on what little money I make each month and so on.

Now?

He's not as fanatical about birds as me, but he's come to understand that a bird is just as much a loving interesting pet as any dog.

Besides you should see how he treats that snake of his... gving it kisses and all sorts.

lols.

 

[witchbaby]

Luckily, I come from a family of parrot/animal lovers, especially my mother. She shares and understands my passion for birds. She has always kept a variety of different animals in her life, including parrots and even an owl. I essentially lived in a zoo when when I was younger. Ha.

My non-bird friends, on the other hand, don't understand it at all. I've always been the oddball vegetarian & animal lover of our crew, but I'm ok with that. If someone makes a rude or judgemental comment, I roll my eyes and try not to take it too seriously. I feel sorry for them, actually. They don't know what they're missing.

 

[RavensGryf]

Most of the people who think I'm nuts do so before they even realize I have birds... :32:

LOL to that one . I can relate...

 

[RavensGryf]

But, yeah, non-animal people generally don't get it. I stopped trying to explain it to them long ago. As the old saying goes: "Never try to teach a pig to sing, it wastes your time, and annoys the pig."

The only answer I give to this one, is "They are my companion animals, and having them around makes me happy." No further justification is required. If they persist, then they are the ones "annoying the pig" at that point. And the best answer I have found to that one, "If you don't like them, then don't get one."

That's basically what I feel too. I don't (and haven't) tried to "educate" non-bird friends and acquaintances, because you either get it already or you don't. Too much mental energy trying to explain such detail when it's not going to do any good.
Although the parrots are a BIG part of my life, still I don't usually even so much as mention them with most people. Many acquaintances don't even know I have them!

 

[witchbaby]

Most of the people who think I'm nuts do so before they even realize I have birds... :32:

LOL to that one . I can relate...

Me too.