Boy vs. Girl?

[Kelsih11]

Hello all! I am on the waiting list with 2 breeder and should have a baby by the end of May! (FINALLY! It's been a long year of waiting) My issue now is that one breeder does not DNA sex before I purchase, and the other only has one available for deposit but the deposit is non-refundable, so I would have to either wait and see if it's a male before I put down my deposit (and risk losing my deposit) or put down my deposit and hope it's a male.
Everywhere I've been reading has said that people should get a bird of the opposite sex as them, i.e. I would get a male bird since I'm a female. I have some friends that have male birds and they do not get along because the owner is a male. IDK if that is true for all birds or just some. Thoughts?

 

[chris-md]

False false false!

I'm a man, and my relationship with my male eclectus couldn't be better! It's all in how you socialize them. I used to have a conure who was a one person bird (I was that person). The only other person who could handle him completely safely (my dad tried often but the bird never fully came around) was my female friend.

I do find these stories of birds preferring one gender over another interesting. But I do have to wonder if they genuinely have the capacity to distinguish between male and female humans. Keeping in mind we wear clothes, a foreign concept they have no hope of understanding, but hides many of the traits that make us dimorphic.

 

[henpecked]

Hogwash. True I'm male with a pet hen, but many of the other male zons in our house prefer me over my wife. Her pet is also a hen who doesn't care that much for me but loves other female freinds. Personally i prefer hen parrots as pets, that's why I'm henpecked on the forum, surrounded with hen zons , dogs, etc.

 

[itchyfeet]

Yup, False here too, unfortunately.
My two boys, Henry and Marley, are both highly attached to the hubby - and it's not really a two way thing. He's interactive and patient enough but he does it for me - he could take them or leave them. They're great with me too, just better with him.

 

[JerseyWendy]

I'm in total agreement with all of the above. I have 1 hen, and 3 males. Every one of them is bonded to the entirely family.

My 17 year old hen YN was my first. She's THE sweetest bird out of my entire flock.

 

[Anansi]

Yep, that opposite genders thing is just a myth. I have two ekkies, one male and one female. I am the favorite for both.

I had another male ekkie before. I was his favorite. And a male cockatiel before that. And I was his favorite, too.

I suppose it's possible for a bird to have a really good prior bond with one sex or the other that influences any future bonds, or a really bad experience with either sex that does the same in a negative sense, but that would be nurture rather than nature. Nothing innate about it.

 

[Kalel]

Would you be able to go meet the babies? If so, seeing which one bonds with or picks you would be way more valuable than choosing based on the sex of the bird in my opinion. If it is the bird bonding with you that is your worry, I think that meeting them and interacting with them would be very valuable. The bird's sex is not what determines who it "chooses" so do not worry about that Good luck!

 

[Birdman666]

Old wives tale. Absolutely a myth.

It's about working with, socializing, and bonding with your bird.

I've had both males and females of several different varieties of birds, everything from conures, to macaws.

Other than some breeding season peculiarities with the especially hormonally challenged breeds of birds, there isn't a difference.

 

[Birdman666]

I have some friends that have male birds and they do not get along because the owner is a male. IDK if that is true for all birds or just some. Thoughts?

Chances are, they didn't get along because the bird didn't get handled/worked with enough and/or was never properly socialized in the first place.

 

[SilverSage]

I am female and most of my pets are female. I have seen some indication of birds sometimes seeming to prefer one gender, and sometimes that gender is opposite to their own, but usually that is in bird that no one has put the effort in to socialize and train. My female birds love me, my male eclectus wants to have my husband's babies.

That said, I wouldn't stick with a breeder who puts the risk on you like that. As a breeder myself, if I know a person wants a certain gender, my baby doesn't go home with them unless I know it is the gender they want! In some situations I ask them to pay the DNA fee if they end up not buying the bird, but that is $20 and not a big deal. I would honestly find a breeder who cares more about making sure that both bird and human are happy with the placement than with making sure they get some money out of you or trap you into a sale. Both the breeders you mention throw up huge red flags for me.

 

[RatAtaT2693]

So, not to high jack the thread, but I had the exact same question, plus some.

Everyone covered the owner/bird relationship concerning gender, but are there certain traits that are usually known to each gender? For instance, in rats, the boys are more laid back/like to cuddle but smelly, and girls are usually more playful but trying to cuddle with them is like hugging a jumping bean. Female dogs, in my experience, are moody, but easier to train. Fixed males are more affable, but ultimately are more interested in exploring.

I was thinking about getting a male Mac, mostly because I don't want to deal with eggs. Understanding that all are individuals, would there be any general issues with a male that I possibly wouldn't have with a female? Vice versa?

 

[psychocircus91]

As mentioned, it is mostly about socialization and bonding. With that being said, there are differences in talking ability and behavior (hormonal) between sexes in some species. What particular species are you looking at?

 

[RatAtaT2693]

Mostly focused on Macs, particularly the Catalina hybrids. I was also considering a CAG, but I heard they have a hard time accepting change, and for me, change = adventure.

The hormones freak me out a bit... I'm accustomed to mammals, and I don't really notice hormonal changes with any of the species I've worked with.

 

[JerseyWendy]

.....

I was thinking about getting a male Mac, mostly because I don't want to deal with eggs. Understanding that all are individuals, would there be any general issues with a male that I possibly wouldn't have with a female? Vice versa?

I can tell you that a male big mac reaching sexual maturity isn't always a walk in the park. :54: They can become quite testy (to say the least). I can't speak for female big macs, as both of mine are males.

 

[RatAtaT2693]

I'm not particularly worried about him being testy... I can deal with psychological warfare. I'm more concerned with her being egg bound or needing to keep her from making nests, which - while I think I understand why it's important - just feels wrong.

Granted, I'm typing this from my silent living room with a cat curled up on my lap, so maybe a screaming Mac would change that. Lol.

Teenagers, ugh!?

 

[Anansi]

Egg binding is a potential issue with any female pet parrot. Though some parrots are somewhat more prone to this condition than others. (Cockatiels spring immediately to mind.)

The surest way to avoid this is to discourage nesting behavior, yes. But not all parrots who engage in nesting behaviors become egg bound... or become chronic egg-layers, which is another health threatening situation.

Some parronts choose to allow their birds to indulge their instinctive need to create nests, opting to watch for any signs of their parrot developing any self-destructive or overly aggressive behaviors. But this is done with the understanding that many parrots tend toward the habitual when it comes to acquired behaviors, and that there may be some difficulty with course correction if a problem does indeed arise.

Ultimately, it comes down to the judgement of the individual parront and how they would like to approach their girl's instinctive behaviors.

Keep in mind also, btw, that there are a lot of measures you'll need to take when it comes to keeping your macaw and your cat safe from one another. With the high predator drive of cats, I'd personally opt for complete separation.

 

[Piasa]

Good nutrition will lessen the risk of egg binding. There are also veterinary procedures now that can deflate and release a bound egg, and herbs/teas you can give to assist in them passing the egg.

I lost my very first bird to being eggbound and was scared for years to have another female. But the parrot can't choose their genes (predisposition to lay) or their sex, they are who they are. Now I find I mostly prefer female parrots. I wouldn't trade my girl for the world. She has the perfect temperament, is incredibly loyal, and is always up for any adventure.

 

[RatAtaT2693]

Keep in mind also, btw, that there are a lot of measures you'll need to take when it comes to keeping your macaw and your cat safe from one another. With the high predator drive of cats, I'd personally opt for complete separation.

I have rats that will sit on my lap, and she seems to understand that those are strictly off limits. I've got a lot to learn, but I'm seriously considering one of the bigger birds. She's a really small cat, so I'd honestly be more afraid of a mac beak.

But, like I said, I type this from my birdless living room, so that's something I'll be aware of when that bridge comes.

The other thing is I typically prefer male animals anyway. Maybe it's because I'm a female, but all of my personal rats are male, my dog is male, my preferred horse is male, etc. The cat is the exception, but she followed me home. I'm guessing the same will happen with the bird since I plan on spending time with a bunch of them.

 

[JerseyWendy]

I'm not particularly worried about him being testy... I can deal with psychological warfare. I'm more concerned with her being egg bound or needing to keep her from making nests, which - while I think I understand why it's important - just feels wrong.

Granted, I'm typing this from my silent living room with a cat curled up on my lap, so maybe a screaming Mac would change that. Lol.

Teenagers, ugh!?

I've been looking for a thread (unsuccessfully obviously or I would have included the link). 'Testy' may have been the wrong word I used. SOME teenage macs may actually bite you completely unprovoked - HARD. Hard enough that the wound may require medical attention.

No, I'm not trying to dissuade you. I'm currently going through this (X 2....X 3 if you wanna count my nearly 4 year old Magna DYH Amazon) So far (knock on wood) I haven't needed stitches. But when I say 'unprovoked' and 'unexpected', I mean JUST that.

I'm not trying to be funny about this either.

The teenage years are just that. UNPREDICTABLE. Many big macs end up being rehomed during this crucial/difficult time.

I always thought I liked the male versions of everything more, too.... Well, my oldest and most loyal companion is my YN HEN. And then there's Ziva, my Ambull Pit Mix. At first I said I'll never have another female dog. Well....my story has changed.