Bonded with 1 person - super aggressive towards others

[Ambermai]

Hi everyone,
I hope someone can help with sound advice, I cannot find much about this online.
My black capped conure is bonded with me (unintentional on my part) -- I know this because a vet confirmed that the aggressive showiness toward other people is a sign that he considers me his mate.
Today he flew from me while I was greeting my husband, climbed up my husband's chest and bit him in the face before I could pull him off. I put him in the cage quickly so I could make sure my husband was ok. Of course the bird threw a tantrum of epic proportions (for a bird, anyway).
I have advice that I shouldn't let him up on my shoulder, which is going to be so difficult as he's with me all the time. But I don't know what else to do. I have done a lot of reading and it seems like punishment is not a good solution for tiny birdies to learn better behaviour.
Is this type of hormonal behaviour just completely natural and we have to learn to live with it? Has anyone heard any stories or heard of any behavioural experts who have had success curbing this type of aggression?
Jade is a complete sweetheart to me and very well trained.

 

[brittani299]

Try target training. It is a way for them to put emotions towards training. Then slowly have your husband target train him. I just bought a whole parrot training course and this problem was one they talked about.

 

[Carmalita]

if you don't curb this soon it will get worse.

first i would not have the bird out during the "coming or going" to work time of the day. lots of trianing to do things like step up on sticks, targets, etc.... then involve your husband... very very slowly. maybe have him in the room while to have him step up on the stick. (i use the stick when dealing with aggression towards specific people plus for a fully flighted bird it can be a lifesaver when having them get down from a high place). then your hubby can be the holder of the stick and have him step up. really getting a behaviorist or training course would be ideal.

i'd also love to know what target training course the previous poster bought.

 

[Ambermai]

Hi Brittani,
Could you le us know what the course was? Did they say this behaviour could be improved (just trying to be specific as you said they talked about the problem...I'm interested in knowing what they said).
I'd be glad just to calm him down a little so that we don't have a little assassin in the house!

 

[Ambermai]

if you don't curb this soon it will get worse.

first i would not have the bird out during the "coming or going" to work time of the day. lots of trianing to do things like step up on sticks, targets, etc.... then involve your husband... very very slowly. maybe have him in the room while to have him step up on the stick. (i use the stick when dealing with aggression towards specific people plus for a fully flighted bird it can be a lifesaver when having them get down from a high place). then your hubby can be the holder of the stick and have him step up. really getting a behaviorist or training course would be ideal.

i'd also love to know what target training course the previous poster bought.

I work from home and my husband works 24 hour shifts so we don't have a normal schedule. But I know what you mean...don't have him out when my husband is coming and going. I'd love to get a behaviorist on board at this point, just don't think that there is one around here.

 

[brittani299]

I bought the birdtricks.com DVD set. At first I thought it would be a waste of money but it really helped my amazon with his problems. It is really worth thr money

 

[sofiaee]

You can also find a lot of good free sources for target training online. Personally I was disappointed when I bought from birdtricks.com because it was all stuff I'd already seen online.

 

[JennHacken]

In the past has your husband worked with Jade? As mentioned above it's good to have him work with your bird from time to time. During the time your husband is home, he should be start to be the provider for Jade.

If you have Jade on open feed you're going to want to switch to meals on the days your hubby is going to help. That way Jade will be a little hungry, for training and want to be nice and get treats(whatever is Jade’s favorite treat) for hands free tricks (target training, sprin, wave, ect.) after a few tricks, Jade gets his meal.

It's a 60/40 concept... Right now it sounds like you're doing 100% of the interactions with Jade. Start off with your husband doing about 40% when he is home, and then start to increase his percentage until you've reached the 60% hubby/40% you when he is home.
Start bringing new people over as well. friends, family, the neighbor kid- first have them watch you do a few hands free tricks, and then start having them interact with Jade. This will give Jade more socialization.

I hope this helps- Please feel free to message me if you have any questions!

 

[Ambermai]

My husband used to be able to interact with Jade and have him on his shirt, etc but then the hormonal switch flicked at some point and Jade won't let anyone near him except me...unless he's at my parents house and I'm away. If I'm just out of the house, he's still super aggressive with my husband and has to stay in the cage.
So we should start by having my husband target train him a little while he's in the cage? At the moment they can barely be in the same room together. The problem is too that Jade is sometimes on my shoulder and he has bitten me once very hard in the shoulder when my husband was talking to me, so now I am also nervous to have him around me when my husband is around. It's a pretty toxic situation. This 2.2 ounce bird is like a silent assassin!
I think the new people interactions are a problem too, since he has to be in the cage so he doesn't lunge at people. Sigh.
THanks for offering to help...I will be in touch!

 

[MarciaLove]

this happened with my Blue Crown Conure target training helps and birdtricks videos are great! Also take your bird to social p[laces with you if you can and that will help as well as having your husband be around the bird withought you there good luck!

 

[JennHacken]

So we should start by having my husband target train him a little while he's in the cage? At the moment they can barely be in the same room together.

The problem is too that Jade is sometimes on my shoulder and he has bitten me once very hard in the shoulder when my husband was talking to me, so now I am also nervous to have him around me when my husband is around. It's a pretty toxic situation.

Yes, start targeting while Jade is in the cage- If Jade is too upset to target train with your husband we’ll take another step back to the approach. Your husband will have to find that boundary line that starts to upset Jade, be it 20ft from the cage or 2ft. Have him wait right at that boundary point until Jade has calmed down (relaxed fluffed feathers) it could be as quick as a couple seconds or as long as a couple minutes, click and leave the room. The reward in this situation is your husband leaving. Give Jade about 30secs, of alone time and then have your husband return again maybe a few inches closer, again wait for Jade to show signs of relaxing, click and have him leave the room again. Repeat this until your husband is able to reach up and offer a treat. At this point I would recommend to start target training in the cage.
It is completely flock mentality for a bird to nip at the slower flock members when danger approaches. So for Jade, when your husband enters the room he’s thinking “gotta get me and mom away” but you aren’t moving, so he nips at you in hopes to keep you safe.
I hope this helps!

 

[MonicaMc]

Hey Ambermai. I see you've had some success teaching a quaker parrot. Any luck with Jade?

 

[Ambermai]

Thank you for asking! My quaker took to clicker training much faster. I am ashamed to say I sort of gave up with Jade. He is such a little monster around my husband still. Rereading this thread (thanks to your post) has given me some more inspiration to try again. If my quaker can do it, why not Jade, right? And I know Jade is smart because he is potty trained (came to me that way).

 

[veimar]

My little green cheek is a bit aggressive to my husband because he had very long work hours while I was sick at home for a month, and didn't get a chance to handle Parry that much. Now I let my hubby to handle him a lot, and the situation is becoming better, but he still tries to bite him hard (he nips me all the time too but very lightly). But since Parry is only 5-6 mo old, I think he rather considers me his 'mamma", not a mate, and he behaves accordingly.

 

[Sarah1260]

I'm having the same issue now with my sun. Except she's lived with both my bf and I since we got her and now she's extremely aggressive towards anyone but him. She even chased his grandmother trying to bite.

 

[inge]

This problem is a big part of the reason why I inherited Wynnie. The bird started getting bitey and mean with the husband and would only behave nicely with the wife.

At first it was a problem here at my house, too. Bird wanted me, but hubby not so much. So I just started ignoring her and letting him take her out of cage and she would sit on his shoulder while he worked on computer in the mornings. Then he started giving her treats and playing with one of her little toys on his desk. He whistles to her (all kinds of stuff) which is something I cannot do. Pretty soon she turned around.

Now we try to divide time equally if possible. As soon as my hubby comes home from work, birdie goes to him. Sometimes she fusses and wants to find me, that is where the treats come in. And hubby knows it is time to play with her more, not be passive.

I think it will always be something we have to consciously work at and maintain, because Wynnie spends a lot of time with me during the day and my husband travels a bunch so that will probably mean starting over every time he comes home.

 

[Sarah1260]

I agree completely with you. I think a part of our problem is the bf who she's bonded to somewhat likes that she's likes him more. But whatever I told him if that's how it'll be he's responsible for all the cleaning, feeding, etc.