Big set back on hand taming little Caso. Help!

[FlyingTorchy]

Hello all! I am new to the process of starting hand taming a parakeet from scratch( the ones that I've had previously were tamed and very sweet). I let Caso live on my desk for the first 2 months so she could get used to my voice and me being in her area. She has started taking interest in me and coming to the side of the cage and saying "Hello Caso" so I decided to try to start interacting with her. She was off to a beautiful start, perching on my hand to eat millet. I even got her comfortable eating from my hand and sitting on it while outside her cage. Two days ago I got home from work and tried our normal hand training and she wanted nothing to do with me and went crazy when I started to open the cage. It turns out that while I was gone my father-in-law put his hand in the cage and chased her around for about 15 minutes to try and hold her. She now refuses to even take her favorite treat from my hand and she has been so quiet when I sit with her instead of singing and playing like normal. I'm asking for any advice on what to do as she has obviously been traumatized by the experience. Thanks a lot from Caso and I!!

 

[SilverSage]

The nerve!!!!

I’m so livid just READING THAT! I hope you ripped him a new one!


But, you didn’t share just so we could take with you.

Start over. Completely over. Have ZERO expectations of her. Go back to treating her like she has no reason to trust you and only progress as she is comfortable. You did it once, you can do it again.

Does that horrible man live with you? I realize he may not actually be a terrible person (just clueless??) but your bird will see him as a threat. Can you keep him away from her?


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[FlyingTorchy]

He does live with me (or I should say I live with him until our apartment is ready to move in), and I was completely furious!!!!!! I couldn't believe that he would do something like that to her. Normally when you see an animal is uncomfortable/scared you would give them space so they don't panic.

As for starting over, I am completely fine with taking it slow and at her pace, and waiting until shes not too scared with me just sitting at my desk like I normally do. It is just so frustrating to see all of the progress go down the drain in a matter of seconds.

On the topic of keeping her away from him, I'm not sure I can do much more then tell him what I've told him multiple times from the get go.
1. Don't stand over the cage and stare down at her(which he does a lot bc he wants her to tell him hello -_-)
2. Don't stick your hand in the cage to catch her, when she is ready to be held then you can hold her.(his 2nd time doing it since I got her)

I'm just so frustrated by the whole situation

Edit: I can tell she already saw him as a threat from the first time he did it. She was fine with me or anyone else walking around the cage or handing her treats but every time he walked by she would fly to the oppisite corner of the cage and hide. I am only just now wondering if it was only the 2nd time he did it or if hes done it more but without anyone catching him in the act.

 

[LordTriggs]

god If I had a family member do that to any bird I had there would be hell to pay.

I'd go hardcore on him and for starters put a padlock on the cage to stop him opening it up. If the door to the room has a lock then lock the door. I would also attach a cover to the back half of the cage to offer her a spot to hide from him. Maybe even place her somewhere up high when you're not in

 

[SilverSage]

What triggs said; time for locks! If you can’t lock him out of the room then I would get locks for every door of her cage. You can get those cheap little “diary locks” even, since I doubt he would actually try to force them open.


Because you have another human in the house that is deliberately ignoring your wishes and traumatizing your bird I would consider putting the brakes on anything more invasive than treats through the cage bars. I know it’s frustrating but instead of trying to get your bird to step up with your FIL continually wrecking everything, I would set up the cage as a sacred safe space and work on target/clicker training through the bars until you move out (even if that takes months).


And in the mean time do everything in your power to keep him as far away from your bird as possible, preferably out of the room but at LEAST out of the cage.

He’s tormenting her. Of course he doesn’t see it as that, he just wants to play with the interesting new toy you have, after all you do live in his house, right? So I doubt he’s going to change his behavior on his own and you can’t just zap him with a taser...


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[Flboy]

In defense of ‘pop’, it really may have been a moment of male stupidity and ignorance! If he has zero experience around birds, he really may not of known any better.

 

[T00tsyd]

My goodness that's disgraceful! Find some way to protect him. Lock him up either as said with locks on the cage or take him off into a lockable room while you are out.

If that behaviour continues no matter what you do you won't be able to progress and poor little Caso will get major hangups. It's so cruel. Can you find a safe space for him, can you take him to work? He's only little, if you explain the cruelty someone might be willing to let you keep him with you.

 

[GaleriaGila]

Our priority here is to help ensure healthy, happy parronting, so... yeah, I reluctantly agree with the lock and partial-cover ideas. Of course, if he's determined to abuse the bird, he can still do that. Astounding. I'm also in favor of exploring temporary placement elewhere or going to work. Again, astounding. Someone who purposefully abuses an animal (even after correction/instruction/information) worries me... what other cruel things do they do?
Good luck!

 

[Jottlebot]

oh no poor you and caso

i support all the threatened violence and practical suggestions above

as far as where you go from here sadly you have to start from the beginning again

have her close to you when she shows interest do as you did before she will probably come along quicker this time but you must try and keep your father in law away from her

sorry about the lack of punctuation my phone isnt obeying me today

 

[LordTriggs]

yes of course talk to your FIL. tell him he's terrifying your budgie and that the Budgie thinks he''s going to kill little Caso and just to leave them alone when you're not around. Show him a good way to interact with Caso, if he refuses to listen tell him kind ly that you're putting locks on the cage and don't want him near the cage

 

[FlyingTorchy]

Thank you all for your concerns, I am super thankful. I had a little sit down with him today telling him the dangers he is putting in the bird, like the baby hurting a wing while trying to escape or worst possibly. He seems to understand now, saying he thought she would get the point and jump on her hand after he did it enough(WHAT????) In the meantime tomorrow her new cage (18x30x65) is coming so she will have more room to get away if the situation happens again, which hopefully it won't. I was also thinking about getting maybe a nesting box or something along the lines of that so she can hide in it if she is uncomfortable. Not sure if that is a good idea or not

 

[FlyingTorchy]

Also in concerns of Caso I think she is finally calming down again. My sweet baby is accepting treats through the bars of her cage again and singing to me as well as playing with her toys.

 

[SilverSage]

Hard no on the best box unless you plan on babies, but placing a piece of cardboard on the front and sides of the cage so there is a visual barrier may be helpful.


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[FlyingTorchy]

Alright that's what I was concerned about, I heard sometimes if there was nesting box in the cage she could lay even with no male present. I will look into making her safe zone tomorrow with her new cage as well as putting a little lock on the cage.

 

[SilverSage]

It’s really clear you care about this little angel!

It’s actually not uncommon for people to be really dense about animal fear, and most people can’t read bird body language because they haven’t been around it. If your bird were a puppy your FIL would probably be able to see how much he was scaring her. Then again if she were a puppy and he managed to catch her, she likely would have calmed down and been his buddy in a few minutes.

Hopefully things can be worked out within the home so everyone can feel safe.

It’s always easy to feel like we can see the solution from across the internet because we CAN’T see the millions of subtle details that make up the human relationships in your life and dictate how certain people will react to certain situations. I’m glad things are moving in a good direction for you and your fid!


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[FlyingTorchy]

Yes, thank you all for understanding me and helping me again. I made a profile thinking I wouldn't get any results like I've had on other forums but I was pleasantly surprised by the feedback.

It's hard to remember that a lot of people didn't grow up or have been in an environment that they could get educated about our little feathered angels.