Being the Chosen One?

[June2012]

What does it mean to be...chosen?! Is it as simple as bird seeing you and going, "MINE! ALL MINE!"?? Does this happen for only a good, happy bird that haven't met his or her destiny? It's so confusing!

Even on this forum, I've heard people rescuing birds for the reason that they want to see if the bird will choose them. Do birds only want their owner when they're in good condition? I've only heard stories of happy or so-so birds. (For example, they went in to see a bird that needed rehoming from an okay owner.) Not birds that have plucked. I would rather rescue than purchase a bird since I'm also looking for a macaw too. And honestly, many of the birds here are older similar to my age or a few years younger. I would be their third to sixth rehome. Yes, sixth!

Anyway, what if the bird tolerates me because I read s/he?

With a baby, you can form a bond because you take care of them from the start. And if they choose you... I mean, do you really need anything?!

So... How do you know if a bird chooses you? What does it mean? Is it necessary? Can a bird choose you if they are in a plucking state? Or do they just hate the world?

 

[Velimir]

They definitely do not hate the world! Many times, they are so loving and bonded to you when you rescue them. They know that you have taken them out of a bad situation and improved their lives. Then they try to improve yours (and they do it very well, too)!

I have a caique that came to me with a bald belly. His last owner used to hit him because he would bite. Then the owner left him a small cage and never took him out. The caique was fed seeds and nothing else. He had little interactions with people and developed many bacterial infections. When I got him, he stepped up for me right away. He bit me once or twice to express his fear but then the biting faded away. I slowly changed his diet and his dull feathers became bright. I took him to the vet multiple times (took long time to figure out it was bacteria problems) and he stopped having trouble eating and breathing. It has been a year now and his feathers are almost fully grown in. Only problem with this wonderful bird is that he is terribly protective of me. He will run after any person who gets too close to me. I have tried to break this habit but I do not have enough friends who do not mind getting bit... He is also very cuddly and tries to stay as close to me as possible if he is not playing.

I also had an Amazon that was severely neglected. Also plucked. Also fed a bad diet. The owners want him for decoration but when he started screaming, they didn't like him anymore. It took much longer to work with him (and his screaming was definitely an irritation for me) but after three months of patience and gentle rewards, I saw improvement. He told me "step up" which is what I tell all my birds. I was never so afraid to put my hand out, but I did and he stepped up for me. He trained me very well. After that, there were still some bites and lots of screaming. His feathers slowly grew in but he had bouts of barbering after that every time something changed (like when I got a new bird). Finally he was 80% reliable about not biting and his screaming senselessly had stopped. He went home with a friend of mine and now I see pictures of them on Facebook all the time. They share food, watch TV, everything. My friend even got him to wear harness and they go hiking together. Very happy ending.

Then I have a green cheek who owner said was parent-raised. Owner had been told he was hand-tame. Owner tried to take him out but the GCC was afraid so the owner tried to force him. Kept grabbing the bird and making him come out. GCC was terrorized. He was deathly afraid of hands and would go very still if you approached him. He learned not to bite because the old owner threw him against a wall one day or something like that. He was picked on by the owner's other, larger birds too. He came to me paralyzed with fears. I did not have as much luck calming him down as my other GCC did. They became fast friends and he learned from her that I am not bad. He seems much happier and more lively. I still have to be careful about respecting his space, but he flies to me when something scares him and that makes me happy. I am his safety.

These are just a few of my happy stories. There were some bad ones when not much could be done to make the bird accept people but they were rare. I think it is much easier to become the chosen one of a bird that you rescue over a bird that comes from a breeder. It's like having a child. Your own child may not appreciate what you give him(even though he loves you) because you are all he knows. But a child that comes from abuse will appreciate the better life he has with you. Just love the rescued bird and be patient and improve their lives however you can. That's all I have done for my birds. And they repay me by trusting me enough to pet them or hold them when no other human can get close. THAT is a reward better than any other.

Sorry this is long. I hope I answered your question in my ramble.

 

[Mariss]

I have rescued 3 Senegals. Unfortunately 2 of them died shortly, old age didn't help them. But that isn't what I wanted to share. 2 of them where awesome to everyone. But one, who I still have, is a pain in the butt.
I still live with my parents btw.
But she attacks EVERYONE who comes close to me. Even in the same room.
Needless to say, I am the 'chosen' one. And I still don't know why. It may be that I am the owner. I give her (and the other birds) food, clean them. But still. My sister is the aunt that spoils all of the birds.
And my sister came to pick her up.

But because they are afraid, I can't train her to accept other people.

But she is a devil in disguise. She attacks. Bite and laugh.

And she did pluck a lot. Now she doesn't , but I guess it just isn't going to grow back.

 

[JerseyWendy]

They definitely do not hate the world! Many times, they are so loving and bonded to you when you rescue them. They know that you have taken them out of a bad situation and improved their lives. Then they try to improve yours (and they do it very well, too)!

While I absolutely LOVED reading your happy stories/endings, there are - unfortunately - just as many not so happy outcomes.

More often than not it takes a whole lot of work, time and dedication to rehabilitate a bird that has 'issues'. Whether they are screamers or pluckers, not every bird will stop plucking once it's been rehomed. Then there's the chance that the plucked bird has done extensive follicle damage, therefore the feathers will never regrow.

"Love" can't be forced. It can also happen that someone falls head over heels in love with a bird, however, the bird decides that this particular human is on the 'most wanted' list and acts accordingly. :54:

 

[Velimir]

Maybe I have just been lucky then. Not all of my stories are good ones, but most of them are.

 

[Mariss]

While I absolutely LOVED reading your happy stories/endings, there are - unfort
"Love" can't be forced. It can also happen that someone falls head over heels in love with a bird, however, the bird decides that this particular human is on the 'most wanted' list and acts accordingly. :54:

That happened with my mom . It was just love at first sight, from her point of view. Not the birds.
It was meant to be my bird anyway, but my mom just was in love with her, she payed for the bird.
But Sjimmie didn't feel like it, and, well the rest is above

 

[June2012]

They definitely do not hate the world! Many times, they are so loving and bonded to you when you rescue them. They know that you have taken them out of a bad situation and improved their lives. Then they try to improve yours (and they do it very well, too)!

While I absolutely LOVED reading your happy stories/endings, there are - unfortunately - just as many not so happy outcomes.

More often than not it takes a whole lot of work, time and dedication to rehabilitate a bird that has 'issues'. Whether they are screamers or pluckers, not every bird will stop plucking once it's been rehomed. Then there's the chance that the plucked bird has done extensive follicle damage, therefore the feathers will never regrow.

"Love" can't be forced. It can also happen that someone falls head over heels in love with a bird, however, the bird decides that this particular human is on the 'most wanted' list and acts accordingly. :54:

Yeah... I know that too. There was one person with a cockatoo that was okay wth her, but when she came home -- BAM! Love at first sight with her husband! :O

I don't mind feathers not growing, screaming or patience. I know dogs and parrots are nothing alike, but I've rehabilitated dogs before. One was never truly comfortable and just liked one person in the family, but came around right before she passed away. (We had for 6 years, came to us at 4.) I'm just worried that it'll hate the world because it's stuck to someone it doesn't love. You know?

I've only heard of people going to pet shops and this one bird that just loves them and can't wait to see them, and then bring him or her home. Yay! That's a great way and there are so many rescue success stories. It's just that those birds could've possibly chosen that person to make such a recovery, or at least have that understanding. So what I'm asking is: can a bird in a not good situation, choose someone? Are they in the right mind set to do so?

I feel that parrots are complex. It takes two to be in a relationship, and a parrot would have to be the other half. I can't force the parrot to choose to be in the relationship or everything would spiral down. :52:

 

[Birdman666]

You're overthinking it.

This isn't an intellectual exercise. It's an emotional bond. When you set the bird down, and it flies/comes running back to you... you've been chosen.

When you set the bird down, and someone else tries to pick it up, and they run away/bite/don't want to step up for them, and don't act that way at all to you.. you've been chosen.

Amazons in particular tend to do the instant bond thing. But it isn't always instant. A lot of times it isn't. A lot of times it comes from working with the bird, the bird forms a bond and trusts you above all others, you become the teacher, provider, protector, and then the bird does things with/for you that no one else gets...

THEY OPEN UP TO YOU IN WAYS A LOT OF PEOPLE NEVER GET TO SEE... AND THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW...

This one is not something you can research. It's something you experience, or don't... based on what the bird decides. YOU don't get to make that decision for them.

You can lock something in a cage and force it to stay with you, but you can't force them to love you. It happens... or it doesn't.

If you try to force love, what often results is resentment.

Pick the one that actually loves you...

AND THAT APPLIES TO MORE THAN JUST BIRDS... IT'S A LIFE LESSON!

 

[Birdman666]

It's this...



And it's this...

 

[Birdman666]

It's this...



And even a pair bond bird can have more than one... done right, it's chosen people/part of the family:

 

[Birdman666]

It's being "summoned" by your bird for an eyebrow preening:



Or having a macaw groom your eyeballs (and puke on you) several times a day:

 

[Birdman666]

It's when you walk into the room, and the happy noises start, and the little foot goes up... It's when they fly to you on their own, and dote on you:



It's the snuggle factor:



AND WHEN IT HAPPENS IT BECOMES MORE THAN OBVIOUS...

You won't be confused ONCE YOU ACTUALLY EXPERIENCE IT...

Just be aware, if you take that on, IT IS A SACRED TRUST!!!

BETRAY THAT TRUST AND YOU LOSE A PIECE OF YOUR SOUL... !!!

 

[June2012]

You're overthinking it.

This isn't an intellectual exercise. It's an emotional bond. When you set the bird down, and it flies/comes running back to you... you've been chosen.

When you set the bird down, and someone else tries to pick it up, and they run away/bite/don't want to step up for them, and don't act that way at all to you.. you've been chosen.

Amazons in particular tend to do the instant bond thing. But it isn't always instant. A lot of times it isn't. A lot of times it comes from working with the bird, the bird forms a bond and trusts you above all others, you become the teacher, provider, protector, and then the bird does things with/for you that no one else gets...

THEY OPEN UP TO YOU IN WAYS A LOT OF PEOPLE NEVER GET TO SEE... AND THAT'S HOW YOU KNOW...

This one is not something you can research. It's something you experience, or don't... based on what the bird decides. YOU don't get to make that decision for them.

You can lock something in a cage and force it to stay with you, but you can't force them to love you. It happens... or it doesn't.

If you try to force love, what often results is resentment.

Pick the one that actually loves you...

AND THAT APPLIES TO MORE THAN JUST BIRDS... IT'S A LIFE LESSON!

So, it's not just a love at first sight thing? Either way, AMEN! Wish I could rate posts. <3

 

[Bandespresso]

As someone who is the "tolerated one" and not the "chosen one"

It's not at all the end of the world with a properly socialized bird; you just have to find your niche. Espresso loves me and will step up and snuggle and talk and play but, when Chris is in the picture, all bets are off. He is her person. She loves me but she LOVES him. Even though I'm the one who dotes on her and I give her the most attention, she always wants to be with him over me and that is okay! After the rough life she has had, she has earned the right to prefer a person over another. I use it as an advantage! "You can go to daddy but let's do some training exercises first!" I also make sure that she is okay with other people being in her person's vicinity. When rescuing a bird, you learn real quick that nothing is as simple as it is on paper...you observe and adjust your approach. You also learn to put your fids happiness above your own always.

 

[Anansi]

...Wish I could rate posts. <3

While there's an official way to rate threads, there isn't really one to rate individual posts. Not exactly, anyway. But there is something that members can do to show someone that they appreciate their post. If you look in the upper right hand corner of each post window, you'll see a little scale icon. (Like the scales of justice, not lizard scales. Haha!)

Click on the scale icon of the post that you like, and then you can comment on why you found that post particularly helpful. Doing so will add to that member's "reputation points", and your comments about their post will be private, visible only to that specific member on their User CP page.

 

[June2012]

As someone who is the "tolerated one" and not the "chosen one"

It's not at all the end of the world with a properly socialized bird; you just have to find your niche. Espresso loves me and will step up and snuggle and talk and play but, when Chris is in the picture, all bets are off. He is her person. She loves me but she LOVES him. Even though I'm the one who dotes on her and I give her the most attention, she always wants to be with him over me and that is okay! After the rough life she has had, she has earned the right to prefer a person over another. I use it as an advantage! "You can go to daddy but let's do some training exercises first!" I also make sure that she is okay with other people being in her person's vicinity. When rescuing a bird, you learn real quick that nothing is as simple as it is on paper...you observe and adjust your approach. You also learn to put your fids happiness above your own always.

I don't mind not being chosen, but I'm just worried that if I ever get a parrot, they might just want to be with a random stranger. :52:

 

[thekarens]

As someone who is the "tolerated one" and not the "chosen one"



It's not at all the end of the world with a properly socialized bird; you just have to find your niche. Espresso loves me and will step up and snuggle and talk and play but, when Chris is in the picture, all bets are off. He is her person. She loves me but she LOVES him. Even though I'm the one who dotes on her and I give her the most attention, she always wants to be with him over me and that is okay! After the rough life she has had, she has earned the right to prefer a person over another. I use it as an advantage! "You can go to daddy but let's do some training exercises first!" I also make sure that she is okay with other people being in her person's vicinity. When rescuing a bird, you learn real quick that nothing is as simple as it is on paper...you observe and adjust your approach. You also learn to put your fids happiness above your own always.

I don't mind not being chosen, but I'm just worried that if I ever get a parrot, they might just want to be with a random stranger. :52:

There's no guarantees with parrots, but assuming you put in the time, attention and training there's no reason to believe they won't enjoy your company. Zoe, our BTM, prefers my partner, but still enjoys me.

 

[veimar]

You are contemplating too much imho. As I rescue birds I have no possibility of even thinking about that. I had only one bird that I had to rehome because I felt he needed a better home than mine, and thankfully he found one. My birds are mostly bonded to each other and I'm just a member of their flock. I try to make them happy as much as I can. I loved watching the pictures above, but it's only one of my budgies, my lovebird and somewhat my tiel who are bonded to me. My gcc was a big loss for me - we were very bonded until he had a foot injury that took months to heal, and I was administering the medicine, putting on the collar, bandages, etc - after that he started fearing me and bonded to a budgie. Does that mean I was not chosen anymore and should rehome him now? Parrots are long lived pets, and the relationships with their humans can change and evolve. I think if the bird is in your home and is happy you have been chosen.

 

[June2012]

You are contemplating too much imho. As I rescue birds I have no possibility of even thinking about that. I had only one bird that I had to rehome because I felt he needed a better home than mine, and thankfully he found one. My birds are mostly bonded to each other and I'm just a member of their flock. I try to make them happy as much as I can. I loved watching the pictures above, but it's only one of my budgies, my lovebird and somewhat my tiel who are bonded to me. My gcc was a big loss for me - we were very bonded until he had a foot injury that took months to heal, and I was administering the medicine, putting on the collar, bandages, etc - after that he started fearing me and bonded to a budgie. Does that mean I was not chosen anymore and should rehome him now? Parrots are long lived pets, and the relationships with their humans can change and evolve. I think if the bird is in your home and is happy you have been chosen.

Perhaps I am thinking too much. I simply fear that if I had taken out my beloved parrot out for a stroll and sees a stranger walk by, I lose him forever and would look for him throughout his life being depressed... Oh dear. :11:

But it's sad that he did not enjoy your company anymore. And I do agree, parrots are interesting creatures. They tend to evolve in the most wildest of ways, whether we like it or not. And once more, because they're so intelligent all I can think of is the worst... :31:

 

[veimar]

Perhaps I am thinking too much. I simply fear that if I had taken out my beloved parrot out for a stroll and sees a stranger walk by, I lose him forever and would look for him throughout his life being depressed... Oh dear. :11:

But it's sad that he did not enjoy your company anymore. And I do agree, parrots are interesting creatures. They tend to evolve in the most wildest of ways, whether we like it or not. And once more, because they're so intelligent all I can think of is the worst... :31:

That's where the unconditional love comes in - even if you bird is not nice to you you still love him no less. Yes, Parry is not that much interested in me anymore, but he loves his budgie friends and is happy with them. And I'm happy watching them mess around and chirp. There are "people's" birds and "bird's" birds - mine except one prefer the birds.
I don't think you loose your bird to stranger - I never even thought of that taking my fids for a walk... LOL