Anybody have experience with JEALOUSY?

[mastershakezula]

My boyfriend is staying over for two weeks to quarantine, and I noticed almost instantly that my little Quaker has become way more aggressive than usual! Now, a little aggressiveness is not unusual for him - he was abused by his old family and enjoys his space. But I’ve been with him for almost a year now, and he trusts my hand in his cage and stepping up. Now, suddenly, he hates it! He’s given me some nasty bites ever since BF got here.

It’s almost funny, he screams his little head off when my boyfriend even hugs me! He absolutely hates it. I feel bad for my little guy, I don’t want him to think I’m abandoning him. I think he might dislike my boyfriend so much because BF is a little afraid of him. He’s got a big bite and he doesn’t fully understand the concept of gentleness (I’ve had birds in the past so I’m used to their nips). That might be why my Quaker dislikes him so much, along with him taking what he believes is HIS affection away from him!

Anybody else have some experienced with this? I’ve learned just today that Quakers in particular are a one-person bird.

 

[Ira7]

Nothing is going to change if your BF doesn’t make an effort to bond with him, at least to the point of your bird tolerating him.

My Grey never learned to like my wife, but he didn’t despise her and we all got along. The worst it got was when she was napping on the couch and her foot was dangling, Tonto would give her a nice nip on the toe.

Which I found absolutely hysterical and would have paid twice as much for him if I knew he would learn this trick.

I don’t buy into the 1-person thing. Yes, a bird can have his favorite, but through proper socialization and practices, they can all learn to at least tolerate others and not treat them as the enemy, especially a third person the bird sees on a regular basis.

 

[macawpower58]

Almost every parrot owner at some time will come across this.
The dreaded 'my person' syndrome.
I do buy into the 1-person thing, as birds mate for life usually. Once they've found their mate, their devotion is fierce.
Many of us have reverted to not provoking the jealousy.
I've seen some nasty attacks from birds thinking their person is being stolen away.
Especially those with large more dangerous birds, we make sure we don't hug and kiss in front of our birds.
We're a weird bunch for sure, but we all want peace and stable birds.

First, make sure you're not eliciting mate like behavior. Watch where you pet, and watch for the signs of sexual excitment in your bird.
Second, don't hug your boyfriend in front of your bird, especially if they ever want to be tolerant friends. They can be friends, but probably never bosum buddies.
Third, if your boyfriend wants a relationship have him do some target training without you in the room. Make sure he keeps it upbeat and easygoing. Short periods of time, with your birds favorite treat. Only use that treat when your boyfriend is working with your bird.

See if a few changes can settle down the jealousy issue.

 

[chris-md]

As above, one person bird syndrome is A real issue people often deal with. Parrot social interactions are sexually based. Pair bonded birds (those that mate for life) particularly have this problem. It makes polyamorous birds like eclectus easier generally to handle by a broader range of people

It manifests along a spectrum, varying from bird to bird. Ranging from birds who are generally friends with everyone but still gravitate to one favorite, to indifference and avoidance, to outright aggression.

 

[Talven]

When we got our red bellied conure he was a sort of rescue. He hadn't been badly abused but he hadn't had the best treatment. Single mother with two teenage boys. One at home seeking work. They thought it was good fun to rile him up because they found the aggression funny.

He bonded to my wife within a couple of days. He would bite anyone who came close to her. Hated me outright and would latch on to my fingers drawing blood. He would tolerate my son though. A year later he still bites me but it no longer draws blood. I can get him to step up, take food from my hand and occasionally he'll choose to fly to me.

I had to convince him that we are all part of the same flock through bribery. Small pieces of crust off my sandwhiches at lunch or a small piece of noodle or a bit of fruit that he could see I was eating. Amazing how motivated they are for a favourite treat.

My wife is still his person but he'll tolerate us now. You boyfriend will need to put the work in and build a relationship with your bird or you may continue to face this kind of behaviour.

 

[bigfellasdad]

Does your bird bite you when your BF is around, and is normal when he isn't around? If so, your bird is trying to protect you! As he is not sure of your BF he will consider him a threat, biting you is his way of getting you to leave the room and away from danger. Enzo used to do this when new family members where around, she no longer does this as she realises everybody who comes in the house is a friend and therefore no threat.

So, what needs to happen is your BF needs to let your bird know he isnt a threat, simply talking or offering treats is good, make sure your BF talks/whistles to your bird EVERY TIME he enters the room where the bird is and things will improve quite quickly.

good luck