another flightfeather gone, (how to) stay positive

[ChristaNL]

Sorry- I just need to vent for a bit, I had a rough few weeks even when nothing really bad happened.

I just had a really intense feeling "down" episode (I have been 'blessed' with dysthymia for as long as I have been alive, so I should be able to handle it, right?)
(Yes, it is a true depression but since everyone (mis)uses that word nowadays it really does not mean squat anymore.)


We all have birds that are extremely sensitive to our moods, so apart from the difficulty of keeping myself up and running I feel oh so guilty for inflicting my mood-issues on them ...
(NOT helping of course)

Anyway- last week I was not present as much as I normally am, probably had some virus/bug on top of everything else and just could not stay awake.

and if you know Sunny: any absence over 6-7 hours (daytime) will trigger her to pluck.


I am not sure if it was the too long 'present in the house but not in the same room' for a few days that set her off or the workingday (8-15:30) & an evening away as well- a friend decided to cook for me to make me feel better-.


but she snapped/ chomped off the one flightfeather (first primary) on her right wing.
she had already beheaded* a few of the newer secondary ones on that wing, but I was so hoping & praying she would leave that one alone...

*(as long as she leaves more of the feathers than her usual gnawed down stumps it is a win-situation, maybe halved feathers this year can become full feathers the next? There is no hurry.)

This one is almost completely gone, and she really needed that one to help support the next batch of ingrowing primary feathers!


Now she looks like she had a bad one-sided clip (again).

Of course she does not fly anyway and she is not entered in any beautypagents, but for me that was "the feather that broke the camels back".

I KNOW that plucking is not something that will disappear overnight (Rico never completely stopped), and yes she is doing great but I *feel* like I have failed her badly.

No use crying over spilled feath-eh-milk right?
Today I just cant stop crying, I know it is stupid and useless, but (and all you guys who have dealth with pluckers and parrots with other issues know this) it can be bloody difficult to keep a positive attitude all the time.
Mine is a bit broken atm.

(in advance) Thank you for listening/ reading, I really needed to share with people who understand this.

 

[ChristaNL]

Sunny just decided more needed to be broken, somehow she lauched her freshly filled drinking bottle from the cage and I now have a puddle and shards of glass to keep me busy.
(Nobody likes to get bad press?)

 

[LaManuka]

Goshdarn it Christa, just when Sunny seemed to be doing so well too! Nothing is more worrying than unhappy fids! I’m sure Sunny doesn’t mean to do these things,
but her timing is lousy and those old habits are hard to break.

I hope spring comes early for you and beautiful Sunny with all the promise for new growth that it brings

 

[LaManuka]

Sunny just decided more needed to be broken, somehow she lauched her freshly filled drinking bottle from the cage and I now have a puddle and shards of glass to keep me busy.
(Nobody likes to get bad press?)

Cripes that’s all you need! Foppin’ bird!!

 

[Laurasea]

ChristaNL, I was echoing your down patch over here. And echoes your frustrations with your feather mutilator. Penny keeps plucky further down her neck. So I guess I just feel like a big ol copycat at this point
I'm commiserating with you...

 

[Inger]

I’m so sorry you’re having a rough patch. *Hug*


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[EllenD]

First off, don't ever feel like you have to explain your need to vent or apologize for it, if more people would learn how to simply talk about their issues and feelings that are bothering them, the world would be a much happier, safer, less stressful place...

And yeah, they will drive you crazy, quite literally, because their intelligence and very human-like emotions are both a blessing and a curse...They definitely know when something is wrong with us, whether it be a physical illness or something that is bothering us mentally, doesn't matter, they know. And sometimes they do lash out because of it...And sometimes they're just jerks, lol...

Having a parrot who plucks or self-mutilates is probably the most frustrating thing for a parrot owner to deal with; I've not had to deal with it myself, but I've seen plenty at the Rescue and it frustrates me every day because there's usually no rhyme or reason to it at all...They're happy, playing and flying, hardly ever in their cages, totally healthy according to their tests, playing, eating lots of treats and getting tons of attention day after day....And then I come back in the next morning before work to check on things and there is one of them with a new bald-patch....Makes me want to just shake them!!!

As someone who looks at most physical problems as having both a physical AND a psychological component, I've learned to approach obsessive-behavior in birds the exact same way we look at a drug addiction in people, it's really not much different at all...The bird usually starts over-preening or Barbering for a good reason, like an injury, illness, parasite, enormous stress, etc, and then after the initial cause is removed they keep plucking because they figured out along the way that "Hey, when I pluck a feather out, I feel awesome!", because each time they pull out a feather it releases Endorphins in their brains, just like smoking a cigarette, drinking alcohol, taking an narcotic, etc. does. So they keep doing it even though there isn't any reason to...

And pluckers are also very much like drug addicts in that they seemingly "try to stop" constantly, lol...They'll stop for a while, then out of nowhere they're doing it again. And they'll do it again for either a short "bender" or another long stretch, and they'll stop themselves again...And then at some point they start again...And they drive their people crazy in the process because they're constantly trying to figure out how to stop them, what they're doing to cause them to pluck in the first place, etc...When in reality the owner can be doing everything right and their bird is actually very happy, very healthy, well cared for, and it's nothing at all that they're doing to cause the plucking...

Try not to let Sunny's little relapse get you down too much beyond simply worrying in-general about the welfare of your parrot, that's normal and to be expected, but don't beat yourself up over it, because it's not your fault. Maybe your longer hours and shorter amount of time with Sunny recently really was the "trigger' for Sunny to pluck out a couple of new flight-feathers, but if it hadn't have been that and your schedule and time with Sunny would not have changed at all, it still would have happened due to some other trigger...Just like a drug addict, there is ALWAYS an excuse to use, and there is ALWAYS an excuse to pluck....So it's not what you did or didn't do that cause this, it's Sunny's addiction to plucking rearing it's ugly head, wanting those Endorphins again...As an opiate addict in-recovery now for almost 3 years (after almost 15 using) I speak from experience...You take great care of your birds, and they couldn't be in a better home or with a more loving owner/family...

This too shall pass...

 

[ChristaNL]

I just wanted to thank everyone for responding (again), it really helps to hear I am not the only one (or overreacting - too much anyway ).


LaManuka, thank you for being there and making me smile.


Laura: Oh noes... you and yours as well?! NO fun, *hugs* and hang in there.


Inger *returns the hug* (and a belated Happy Birthday!)


Ellen: thank you for being the voice of reason (once again), I hope Sunny will follow your example and be as strong.