all the research still didn't prepare me....

[blstandifer]

Hi everyone, I am Brandi!

I have done extensive research regarding cockatoos and know all about behavior, children, diet, interaction, and so on

Several years ago I adopted a Amazon parrot who was badly abused. We had her for 5 years before she passed (she was approx. 62) after losing her in a divorce. Although I never got to "cuddle" with her she did trust enough to step up without being asked and allow (only me) to pet her head/wings and back. I truly believe she grieved after me being forced to leave her.

I knew I wanted to adopt an older parrot again and refrain from a pet store. I searched for months for the cockatoo I thought would be a good fit. Then I found Lily, an Umbrella Too that is very sweet. We were told that she belonged to a woman who fell ill and her son had been caring for her. The lady who cleans house for her was placing the too in a home. My husband drove to meet Lily and brought her home.
Although I researched this breed extensively and read for months.. even sitting up in the bed with my laptop at 3 in the morning. I was still not prepared for the feelings I have now that she is here. This overwhelming feeling is nothing more than fear.
I am confused with myself really because with my amazon I went through it all, bites, stitches, having my hair pulled out (latterly) you name it I went through it. However, when I am close to lily I get scared... maybe because I don't understand her since she is new in our home. IDK.
We have only had her a few days and I am working on myself. I will outline what it's been like her first few days and point out where my fears are and maybe someone with experience can help me better understand.

Day 1: Lily came home jumped out of her travel cage and into mine and my husbands arms where she stayed until bed time.

Day 2: Tried to leave her alone with her cage in our room with us to allow her to adjust. However, she wouldn't have it so my husband cuddled with her and allowed her to sit with him most of the day.

Day 2 NIGHT: husband was putting Lily up when she came to me and snapped (did not bite me or try to, just tried to scare me). I did not react to her I simply pulled my hand away (natural reaction).

Day 3: Took lily out of her cage she tried to charge me again (I wasn't trying to touch her only opened her cage and she perched on top of door and lunged at me. *start of my fear* all day only I interacted with her, I gave her treats every time I was near her cage, I talked to her calmly and she reacted to me positively.

Day 3 afternoon: I walked by lily's cage and she held her foot out to step up on my arm (twice) However, I became nervous of a bite and did not allow her to step up and fed her a treat instead. I knew if I allowed myself to let her step up with me nervous and scared of a bite then a bite would happen.
My husband did not let lily step up to him all day. He just talked to her. However she did try to step up to him each time he passed her by. She stopped asking to step up to me

Day 4: I am alone with lily today


My question is, when do I allow her to step up and how will I know she is want to step up without a bite? she is taking food from me now problem has not lunged at me since the last incident, and she is starting to talk to me and mimic my sounds.
She is continuing to hold her foot out to me but not in the extent she is my husband.

 

[Pinkbirdy]

Hi, My last rescue 2 [I was hoping to be my girl]. She went to Dave and I .I thought this would be a great fit .Well she decided that She wanted to be with Dave [he could do anything [Im jealous LOL] full trust .I know its dissapointing when your trying to do everything right [I felt that way] I find some birds you just might have a different relationship with. Its good your keeping track of all the interactions [it will help figure her out]. Birds can be won over [it can take a lot of time] .Wear a big sweatshirt see if she will step up .put her on a playstand [keep your interactions short] Go from there. Because it sounds like you and your husband are jointly doing this .Maybe a set schedule and keep to it .Hopefully she will get used to both your interactions. You can do this you had your amazon that Im sure wasnt easy. Good Luck.

 

[blstandifer]

Thank you. My husband is not allowing her to step up at all at the moment. I am here alone with her 5 days a week from 7 am until 5 pm
My amazon was more challenging than lily because she would draw blood and wouldn't take food at all. Lily sees me coming and will come to me for a bite of whatever I'm eating.
She is holding her foot out for me to take her but I'm still unsure of myself and that is not a good combination. She is talking to me more though today I left to pay a bill.. she told me goodbye and put herself in her cage and let me lock it.

 

[Featheredsamurai]

my friend has a blue and gold macaw I can do anything with and I have full trust in him, I even let him put my fingers in his mouth. I met a new blue and gold the other that that I didn't even attempt to touch. You don't know Lilly and are still getting to meet her. Personally if she was invited you to pick her up you may as well give it a shot

 

[buddhabread]

The only thing I could wonder about her asking to step up is if she is doing it for the company or the kicks? When we first got our G2 she would beg to climb onto someone, and within a few moments start scrambling up their arms to bite their ears and dance around on them to resist capture. She's not really much of a lover even now, though, so they may not be comparable at all.

 

[Grinder]

I truly think that much of your fear is an exaggeration of what you experienced earlier. Not to say it's not real or proper to the moment, but I feel like you are making more of the situation than need be. That's a shame since you should be allowed to enjoy any moment you have with your new bird.

The Charging - she may have used this successfully before to 'control' the former owner or visitors and sounds like she is testing you.

The biting - we all know there is so much that has been written about this. Once you are more confident in yourself I believe her 'test' biting will cease. You have to remember she is trying to figure out where she fits within your flock.

Cockatoos and Macaws have issues with being alone when they get older when the previous owner coddled the parrots to much. Macaws and Cockatoos can be very affectionate and many times owners make the mistake of giving TOO MUCH attention to them so when they are left to themselves (even with someone in the room) they cannot take the separation. Many times this manifests in screaming, but can also include biting. The previous owners just didnt teach the parrot to play by themselves.

I wish you luck with your new Cockatoo. I think you will be fine sooner than later.

 

[Jtbirds]

Well firstly I don't believe we can compare or generalize macaws and cockatoos as cockatoos is a new world and a confusing one at that. You have every right to feel odd cockatoos are shady with there body language IMO.

This said I don't care how much you read you will never be prepared for a rescue too until you have one at your home for some time. I didnt have half a clue until I owned one And then more got clear to me about them and there shady language.

You have only had her for a couple of days she is testing the waters persay. Your fear is going to make her who she is really. So you need to go there and find out with her because now is critical. It is her honeymooning stage, this means she is acting good and this is a time to get find of the new parrot because she is on that behavior so really build your bridge with her. So yes if you've gotten bit by an amazon believe me a cockatoo is about the same other then they usually don't hold on and twist like amazons, cockatoos let go. With a rescue too epically I will say be prepared to get bit it will happen....sadly. So I really would say go there and see how you can make out, keep your face away from her and do not cuddle her unless it is a head scratch for like a couple of seconds.

As for the one time she tried to snap, cockatoos are a pain when they don't feel like they have been out long enough. This is a thing you must teach them that this is the amount you get out and this is it. In another home she may have been out twelve hours, but that has now changed and for cockatoos this is an issue. So the snapping may happen until she adjusts to your schedule, easy enough is to catch it happening and correct her for it, but don't get fearful she is trying to push your limits(cockatoos are masterminds at this).

The charging in a cage is a warning really this means she is over excited and is getting it out, wait until she becomes relaxed and calm again to get her out. If your cockatoo is charging or jumping up and down in a hyper way don't touch them, you'd be asking to get bit. So just let them simmer down and don't go near them at this time, if they jump to the ground when excited well this is a different story....

Hope this answers some questions

 

[Grinder]

Hey Jtbirds. You know I respect your opinion and your work with with birds quite a lot. I just wanted to let you know I wasn't generalizing (although thru symantics you can generalize everything ) Cockatoos and Macaws, but rather their owners. Quite often first time owners can make the mistake I mentioned. I was just trying to give the OP something to consider.

 

[Jtbirds]

Hey Jtbirds. You know I respect your opinion and your work with with birds quite a lot. I just wanted to let you know I wasn't generalizing (although thru symantics you can generalize everything ) Cockatoos and Macaws, but rather their owners. Quite often first time owners can make the mistake I mentioned. I was just trying to give the OP something to consider.

Sorry Grinder! I didn't mean it like that your point wasn't really generalizing them it was pointing out a common trait.(your completely right) I made that comment more along the line so that the new cockatoo owner doesn't associate the two as this happens often that they will just say o a cockatoo is like a macaw. I didn't mean to seem like I was targeting you personally was just trying to point that yes you were correct but cockatoos body language is very different, sorry for the misunderstanding!

 

[Grinder]

None at all! I don't consider you in that regard at all. Your posts and helpful comments have meant a great deal to many members here.

Sorry for highjacking your thread blstandifer.

 

[Jtbirds]

Lol yes sorry for the off topicness we have imposed upon your thread.

 

[blstandifer]

First off, thank you all for your replies. And yes an amazons bite is bad, my finger cracked when I first took her in and was forced to change her to an appropriate size cage.

I am watching Lilly and her language. She has done wonderful today although I have not attempted to allow her to step up as of yet. She has taken bites from my plate and talked to me and enjoyed treats all day.
Unfortunately, that has changed since we are no longer alone and the family is home. She is now acting out. NOT biting, just that when someone walks in the room and stands within 10 foot of her cage (mainly me or my husband) she fluffs out and begins hissing, jumping around her cage throwing toys bobbing her body around... anything to try and scare us. When I don't act scared then she asks for a treat (French fry).
She has not been off of the top of her cage unfortunately because she has decided not to want to step up to anyone even my husband that she was once begging to get to.

 

[Molcan2]

Shes nervous right now. Toos are extremely sensitive to changes and her world has just been completely turned upside down. Shes going to be over protective of her space and of herself right now. She doesn't know you guys from Adam and she doesn't trust you guys yet. I would advise taking baby steps with this one, allow your new relationship to grow slowly and on her terms. Her actions are that of nervous stressed Too. Try not to put to much pressure on her. Don't handle her unless she offers. When you do handle her, do it in short spurts, try ending each on a good note. When she asks to be handled, do it but only for a few minutes and then put her back. Bribe her with a favorite treat to get her back to her cage (wouldn't suggest placing her inside but back on the door or top) to avoid any strikes. Try to always end on a positive note and she will, over time, build trust.

Her cage is all she knows right now and she is going to be over protective of it, shes trying to make a safe place for herself. Listen to her body language, if she doesn't want to be picked up or messed with then leave her alone, get a chair and sit on the other side of the room and read (let her just get used to your presence). Have patience. It can take, IMPO, at least a year for a Too to fully settle in and some take a couple years. Our Rome has never bitten nor offered but her transition was by no means easy. We had well over six months of non stop screaming, all day - every day.

What ever routine you want the bird to be on, set it up now. Having consistency from the beginning is going help with the transition process, it will allow her to know what to expect of the day. Most Toos thrive off a solid routine, its best to set this up from day one. For instance, Rome goes out in the morning, loose all day, comes in mid-late afternoon, spends few hours with us inside, then eats at dusk and goes to bed afterward. She came to us WAY over spoiled and it was hard to get her to accept her new routine. You don't want to spend hours upon hours with her in the first few weeks because shes new and then only spend a few hours a day with her after that, this will confuse her. Whatever schedule you think you can loosely stick to, for a very very long time, set it up now.

Oh and one word of strong advice: no matter how much fear you have of getting hurt, you must handle her with no fear. Toos are esp good at picking up on fear and using that to their advantage. Congrats on your new family member. There is NO research that can prepare you for a re-homed Too. They can be extremely difficult to handle and are def not for everyone. Good luck.

 

[blstandifer]

Thank you everyone again for your advice.
I have been taking things very slowly with Lilly and letting her tell me when she is ready for interactions. I think we are off to a wonderful start...

It has been one week today that we brought this scared white ball into our home.
Today, she is getting down off of her cage and walking to me on her own, stepping up to me without hesitation, walking on the couch between me and my husband and sharing loves and hugs with us.
Of course she gets mad when we wont allow her to have our shoulders but she is starting to understand what we are asking of her when we say NO.

I am completely head over heels in love with this little girl and although there are times when tears form because she brings up past feelings of my amazon Mauie and so many bittersweet memories of my time with her. I know in my heart that the bond I am forming with Lilly will only create new bittersweet memories.

Earning this birds trust and seeing the rewards of my patience and work with her ... well.... there are no words.

here is a picture of Miss. Lilly sitting beside me and snuggling with my favorite flannel blanket. :21: