after week 1 with my first parrot

[cass]

It's been officially one week as of today since I brought Arya home, and she seems to be pretty well adjusted to the house.

But that's just to the house. I don't think she has adjusted to me much at all. I'll be honest, I think that she thinks she's the boss and that she's in control, and part of that is probably my fault because I'm just not sure what's best. I don't want to be too harsh and make her dislike me, but I don't want to keep being a pushover and have a bird that I can't ever touch. She is my first parrot, and all the research in the world didn't prepare me for the reality of bird ownership cause it's super easy to read and not as easy to do. SHE is perfectly happy and content to not be touched (right now, she's sitting on top of her cage, feathers fluffed and one foot curled up staring at me) but I am not happy and content because there are times that I need to touch her - and more selfishly, I just want to. She freaks out when I put her in her cage at night, she refuses to step up, and she only allows me to touch her when she climbs up on my shoulder (and a friend and fellow bird owner told me that it's a sign of domination that she bites and won't let me touch her but wants to be above eye level, I don't know if that's accurate). I don't know. I'm not saying that I want someone to teach me how to parrot, but, well, yea, that actually is what I'm saying. I've tried teaching her step up. With my hand, I get bit, with a stick, she freaks out if it gets near her and IF she steps up (which is rare), she just climbs up the stick and onto my head (and I tried the foam plate trick to block her. She was not deterred in the slightest). If I get near her with my hand, she backs away, but it's ONLY my hand. I can stand right in front of her so close she can feel me breathing, and I can hand her food, but if my hand is hovering above her or near her in a way that she thinks I'm about to touch her, she's gone in a heartbeat. She always stays on top of her cage when I let her out unless I have my hand too close to her, and she'll jump off to get away from me. So I don't know where or how or what to do anything and everything. haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalp

 

[triordan]

Some birds take longer to gain their trust, with that said you have many years ahead of you, don't rush things. Sit beside her and just talk to her, continue feeding treats. How old is she? Not to sound mean but that cage looks very small for her, what size is it? I have s few friends that have Greys and they are not the cuddly type

 

[cass]

She's not quite a year old yet. The cage is huge, it's just that angle. I don't have the exact measurements but I would guess it's like 4.5' tall by 4-5' wide maybe? She has a lot of toys and plenty of room to move around, and I bought it from a locally owned exotic pet store that uses this exact cage type to keep their african greys.

 

[jugoya]

Don't let her out of the cage unless YOU bring her out.

Try bribery.. if she wants treats; use those to get her attention and trust..

Sadly she's a parrot; you ARE going to get bitten there is no if ands or buts about it.. unlike with (most) dogs it isn't instant gratification it takes time and effort to befriend a bird. You've only had her for a week.. it was nearly two months before the Hans Macaw I fostered would even eat out of my hand..

Time and patience that is what you need with a bird... slowly teach her that your hand is a GOOD thing, for now it might be better if you keep her in the cage and just quietly talk to her. Begin extensive training.. and use the perch for step up then bring her out, don't leave her to climb out on her own.

 

[cass]

Also, I didn't mean to imply that I would want a cuddly bird. That's part of why I got her; I DON'T want a cuddly bird. It's not that I want her to be all over me all the time, but I need to be able to touch her to move her because her wings are clipped, and I would like to be able to touch her because she's going to be with me likely for the rest of my life as I'm well into my 20s. I'll always take care of her, regardless of how she feels about me, BUT that doesn't mean I want her to be afraid of me. I want her to want to live with me as much as I want to live with her. I KNOW that this will take time, but there has to be something that can be done to work on the touching thing. I feel like the longer we go that I don't touch her, the more she's going to think that she has me trained to leave her be

 

[cass]

Lots of people keep saying to leave her in her cage, but the reason that I don't is that she's so eager to get out. When I come in the room, she'll go crazy in her cage until I let her out, and when I DO open the door, she doesn't even hesitate. She's out and on top of her cage in two seconds, and I'm terrified that if I do keep her in her cage and just talk to her that she will start plucking.

 

[Mozzie]

She probably will start to pluck if you leave her in her cage. I personally wouldn't do that with a grey. My grey hates being caged. She was caged a lot with her previous home and she plucked. Now she is never caged and she doesn't pluck at all. But it took a while for my grey to trust me. I would talk to her all the time and offer her treats, and I would sing to her (she loved that). it took a lot of patience, but she did come around. I am sure with time yours will come around too.

 

[SoCalWendy]

It's been officially one week as of today since I brought Arya home, and she seems to be pretty well adjusted to the house.

But that's just to the house. I don't think she has adjusted to me much at all. I'll be honest, I think that she thinks she's the boss and that she's in control, and part of that is probably my fault because I'm just not sure what's best. I don't want to be too harsh and make her dislike me, but I don't want to keep being a pushover and have a bird that I can't ever touch. She is my first parrot, and all the research in the world didn't prepare me for the reality of bird ownership cause it's super easy to read and not as easy to do. SHE is perfectly happy and content to not be touched (right now, she's sitting on top of her cage, feathers fluffed and one foot curled up staring at me) but I am not happy and content because there are times that I need to touch her - and more selfishly, I just want to. She freaks out when I put her in her cage at night, she refuses to step up, and she only allows me to touch her when she climbs up on my shoulder (and a friend and fellow bird owner told me that it's a sign of domination that she bites and won't let me touch her but wants to be above eye level, I don't know if that's accurate). I don't know. I'm not saying that I want someone to teach me how to parrot, but, well, yea, that actually is what I'm saying. I've tried teaching her step up. With my hand, I get bit, with a stick, she freaks out if it gets near her and IF she steps up (which is rare), she just climbs up the stick and onto my head (and I tried the foam plate trick to block her. She was not deterred in the slightest). If I get near her with my hand, she backs away, but it's ONLY my hand. I can stand right in front of her so close she can feel me breathing, and I can hand her food, but if my hand is hovering above her or near her in a way that she thinks I'm about to touch her, she's gone in a heartbeat. She always stays on top of her cage when I let her out unless I have my hand too close to her, and she'll jump off to get away from me. So I don't know where or how or what to do anything and everything. haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalp

A whole week huh? Man, I wish it were that simple but it's not. Her whole world has been turned upside down. She doesn't know who to trust. The more you push her the longer it will take to earn her trust. Why not just let her chill for a bit. Let her get used to you. Let her become comfortable within her new surroundings. The best thing you can do for her is to be patient with her and don't force her to shut down, just so you can touch her. Do some research on flooding. I don't think you want to do that. I and understand your excitement. You have years to spend with her, so slow down. Watch her body Lang, and learn what she like and doesn't like. Speaks softly to her and move slowly. You'll see she will start to open up and relax. Btw it took me 6 long weeks for my Senegal to even want to get to know me. Now we are best buds. Have fun and welcome

 

[SoCalWendy]

She's not quite a year old yet. The cage is huge, it's just that angle. I don't have the exact measurements but I would guess it's like 4.5' tall by 4-5' wide maybe? She has a lot of toys and plenty of room to move around, and I bought it from a locally owned exotic pet store that uses this exact cage type to keep their african greys.

I would not load her cage with too many toys. It might scare her. Maybe a few and then rotate the out once a week. Just a thought

 

[MikeyTN]

She's not quite a year old yet. The cage is huge, it's just that angle. I don't have the exact measurements but I would guess it's like 4.5' tall by 4-5' wide maybe? She has a lot of toys and plenty of room to move around, and I bought it from a locally owned exotic pet store that uses this exact cage type to keep their african greys.

Even thought they may keep their Grey in that type of cage, it does not mean it's the proper cage for them. Most pet shops have limited space so they usually keep them in smaller cages then they need to be in. Just from looking at the picture at an angle I can tell you it's not as big as you described. I've seen those cages before. Your probably adding on the metal stand that's on the bottom of it. Seriously think about getting a bigger cage for him!

It takes time for them to get used to you. IF you have someone that knows birds locally that can help you out, it would be very helpful for you to get to know someone like that. It's easier to show you how in person. I did the stick training for a friend's grey and he sat there in astonishment watching me doing it, he was new to birds as well. I just met the bird and I was able to get him to step up to the stick, I always expect to get bit, especially one that don't know me. And of course I got bit cause he came up the stick at my hand. So I change my tactics to use two sticks at a time that's longer in length so I would block him if he tries to go towards my hand he can't. Then the repeated step up was made when I was just there for 10min. He went from being afraid of the stick to stepping up like a pro onto a stick. Just be patient and work slowly if you must, you don't need to rush since you don't understand the full concept of it yet. You'll learn eventually, it just takes time!