African grey does not like us :(

[fijii]

Hi everybody! We are at a loss with an 8 year old female congo african grey that we bought about 2 months ago. Her name is trixie. She doesnt want to spend time with us. Normally shes a very quiet bird. She doesnt talk at all. She whistles once in a while( once every couple days, for a few minutes at a time) or when her cage is covered and she wants us to uncover her. Every single time i uncover her, she does this loud high pitched screech, she also makes the screech when im doing something she doesnt like( trying to put my hand near her) This makes me confused because she makes the screech when shes happy, and when shes angry at me.. So i dont even know what shes trying to say by screeching. I did notice that before she screeches, her eyes will pin. Anyways, her cage door is open all day, until bed time. She will only come out to stand on top of her cage, and she gets scared if i take her away from it. Sometimes when i stick a perch in to pick her up she will lunge at it and attack it. She bites a lot and we are scared to handle her. We also had to get her wings clipped because she was "dive bombing" people she didnt like. Sometimes she will let me scratch her head, other times when i try to pet her she will bob her head really fast, and ive learned that when she does that, it means shes going to bite me. I really want to bond with her and spend more time with her, but shes just so aggressive. Please help me, I may have to consider rehoming her because i feel like she just hates her life here! I just want her to be happy

 

[LeaKP]

Hi, I'm so sorry your grey is taking time to settle. Greys are very, very sensitive birds. They feed on our emotions so I'd counsel you to be very careful in the way you speak to her and act around her. Always speak sweet, try not to make any sudden movements. Slow and deliberate. Don't force any stepping up or more interaction than she shows she's ready to engage in. Talk a lot to her every day as you're walking by the cage or where she is. Offer her favourite treats, have some music playing.

I have rehabbed a few greys and they are known to take time - 2 months is actually a short time. One grey I had took over a year to come around. Some greys, not many, never return to being willing to be handled. This is usually because they were mistreated in their past. We just have to be willing to have them and love them.

The grey forum has TONS of advice. Don't panic, I have a feeling that your baby will come around. She just has to adjust and feel the love.

 

[davefv92c]

don't worry as someone I have seen in the news a lot of late would say you can win this, and you can win it bigly.lol sorry I just had to.

sounds like you just need to do some studying up on the personality of your Parrot so you know just what to expect use these forums and also having a good hard copy of a book on Grey's would be good to keep around in a pinch and of course the almighty google.

what you describe, only top of cage I have the same thing with Lilly my Amazon and any movement towards her she freaks with hands or anything else. she wont step up on my hand only my arm,and not on bare skin. she bites at me all the time, yet when she is on my arm she will let me pet her and rub her neck. for the biting with her I just think it is a touching thing she has never got me hard. I have been able to teach her to say pretty girl Lilly,and what ya doing,and do do doing. but she still bites at me when first approaching. a couple of times a day she will have screaming fit's, and the noise my friend is just something to learn to live with. she has hers most of the time when hanging upside down. to much blood to the brain maybe.lol she was not a planned bird so I did not study the Amazons so I brought her home blind. these forums here will tell you all you need to know. I think I would spend a lot of cageside time with her talking and treating with the treats getting smaller and smaller to get her used to your fingers. every morning when I uncover Lilly and Maxx we meet at the door perch and I offer them a finger and both give me a loving little nibble,and touch of tongue. I view it as a bonding thing.

don't give up, you just may have a bit of work to do good luck

 

[wrench13]

Not a Grey person, but if you are able to give her scratches, even a little bit, thats good, right? You will get great advice from some really experienced folks on here.

 

[JBassset]

I don't have a Grey but I understand they're highly emotional and sensitive birds. So this is my guess based on what I know about birds in general.

From what you describe she's afraid and her cage is her safe space. She'll play in or on it but gets freaked when you take her away from it. So the first thing you need to do is let her know YOU are a safe space.

What I saw someone post someplace, maybe here, was his/her means to get the bird used to them.

1. Make sure the cage is in a separate room from the main living area.
2. Go into that room and stand nice and far away. Just talk. Gently and sweetly to the bird.
3. When the bird settles down and seems OK with you there take a step or 2 forward.
4. Again, do with the talking. Be calm and easy.
5. Rinse and repeat until the bird is OK with you at the cage.

From there you do basically the same process with each next step. Open the door, talk till she's OK. Then show her the stick you'd like her to work with and talk.

The number 1 rule with birds that these kind folks have taught me: don't force it. Don't push a bird to do something it's not ready or willing to do. You need to be calm and so very very patient. It takes time... in some cases a LOT of time to get them to settle into life with you.

 

[davefv92c]

I don't think I would use a stick to get her out of the cage. in her mind when you stick that into her cage you are trespassing. I would try the getting to step up thing while she is on the top of her cage sounds like she is a little cage aggressive. on the stick thing I would never even approach any of my cages with a stick in my hand. also always remember the bird is watching your hands more that anything else. and let her come to you. with lilly I had to hang out next to her cage and chat with her before she would even get up on my arm. and she is very slow to progress but I will let her come along in her time.

 

[JBassset]

Another thought I just had from reading Dave's post.

How you approach them with your hand matters a lot as well. I find that with my conure if I just stick my hand out to him to get him to step up he'll take off.

But if I bring it in low (below him if possible) to where he is and then bring it up to his feet he'll step up with no problems.

The Macaw is the same way. Come in low and come up slowly and he'll step up. Come in at or above food height and move too fast and you'll get nipped.

Just an observation from my two twits.

 

[davefv92c]

Another thought I just had from reading Dave's post.

How you approach them with your hand matters a lot as well. I find that with my conure if I just stick my hand out to him to get him to step up he'll take off.

But if I bring it in low (below him if possible) to where he is and then bring it up to his feet he'll step up with no problems.

The Macaw is the same way. Come in low and come up slowly and he'll step up. Come in at or above food height and move too fast and you'll get nipped.

Just an observation from my two twits.

i have always used the right above the feet with a little bump in the chest if they hesitate. but I'm going to try your way now. my way sometimes my finger gets in the way
thanks

 

[JBassset]

Another thought I just had from reading Dave's post.

How you approach them with your hand matters a lot as well. I find that with my conure if I just stick my hand out to him to get him to step up he'll take off.

But if I bring it in low (below him if possible) to where he is and then bring it up to his feet he'll step up with no problems.

The Macaw is the same way. Come in low and come up slowly and he'll step up. Come in at or above food height and move too fast and you'll get nipped.

Just an observation from my two twits.

i have always used the right above the feet with a little bump in the chest if they hesitate. but I'm going to try your way now. my way sometimes my finger gets in the way
thanks

I was doing it that way and figured at least I didn't need to by leaches for my daily blood letting.

Started this way and it works. I just come from below the feet, move up and then chest bump if necessary. The conure has taken to holding his foot out and leaning forward until he falls onto my finger. The Mac just watches and steps up when he judges my arm to be in the "right spot"

Birds are weird. I like it!

 

[fijii]

In some ways, she does trust me. For example, if something scares her and she flies off her cage she will start walking over to me, step up on my hand and let me take her back to her cage. She takes treats from my fingers very gently. She will even take the tiniest seed from my fingers. The main thing i want to do is to teach her to step up on command, but sometimes she is aggressive about it. I know shes had 2 previous homes. The first home bought her as a baby, kept her for seven years, and then sold her to a man. This is the man i bought her from. He seemed like a nice guy, he said he wanted to keep her but she seems to hate men. He still contacts me every once in a while to see how shes doing. He used oven mitts to handle her because she HATED him. She screamed and went completely insane when he even came near her cage. She doesnt do that at my house, ive never heard her flip out like that since i took her home. She doesnt really play with toys, she actually doesnt really do anything besides just stand there and look around. I really think that the aggression is because shes scared because ive seen her shaking when i talk to her, its sad. Any tips on starting to teach her to step up? Or is it too soon for that?

 

[wrench13]

The way to every parrots heart is thru the belly ( just like us guys, right?).
Find her special favorite treat - its usually some kind of nut or seed. And that becomes your way in. She only gets it from you, and only as a positive re-enforcement. SO when she lets you pick her up - treat. , she lets you scratch her head - treat. Once she has associated you with good things, she will be more agreeable to train to do things like step up on command. That takes awhile for any parrot to do it 100% of the time, if ever. Be consistant, use the same words when you want her to step up, I say to Salty 'Up Up' . He does it maybe 80% of the time, some times he just dont want to! Like other folks have said, go at your parrots pace, not yours. You may take 2 steps forward, 1-1/2 steps back . ANd if there is a set back, try to figure it out from her side because its never the fault of the parrot. You invited her in, she did not choose to be there.

Greys are notorious for being sensitive to surroundings and mood. Even what you have on - I've read about some greys that will hate a certain color or different glasses or who knows what. Your the big brain there, you have to figure it out. This board and the sub forums are INDESPENSIBLE in helping there. Use the search button. Ask questions, like you have been. SHe sounds like a nice bird, waiting to assure herself that everything is safe. WHat's her name by the way??

 

[davefv92c]

the oven mitts is why you have a hand problem I would think. they don't like gloves if they did then we would all use em instead of a towel when needed.don't be in a hurry you have to let her go at her own pace and that is in babysteps. I'm only a year into this game myself and it can be discourging at times but don't let it. every babystep you make will make your bonding with her much stronger and it will also give you a great feeling of satisfaction that you took it a little further.these forums are the key to the info you seek just keep asking and searching out what you need.

 

[MySweetJess]

Can you whistle a little? Mine picked it up and it's a good charmer. Mine did Andy Griffith theme song, horse racing bugle call, ambulance siren. Silly talk like a cartoon character. I read never to stare at a parrot/bird. Like you could just be with her sitting and wait for her and sounds like she'll have no problem with it....time is on your side!

 

[Flboy]

Can you whistle a little? Mine picked it up and it's a good charmer. Mine did Andy Griffith theme song, horse racing bugle call, ambulance siren. Silly talk like a cartoon character. I read never to stare at a parrot/bird. Like you could just be with her sitting and wait for her and sounds like she'll have no problem with it....time is on your side!

Absolutely! Who stares? Predators!

 

[trimblegirls]

I adopted my Grey Jasper from a rescue. I followed Al's advice and just bribed him and kept bribing him. I didn't ask anything from him. I just talked him and gave him treats. A lot of treats, every 20 minutes or so. If she's afraid and won't take them from your hand, then drop them in a dish through the bars. I just kept giving him treats asking nothing in return. Then one day, much sooner than I thought, he figured out I wasn't so bad. He stopped being totally afraid. I kept up the treats. Little by little, I gained his friendship. I'm still working on trying to figure him out but it hasn't been that long. He actually let me pet him today for the first time. Usually, he'll bend his head down and I'll go in to pet him. He'll nibble my fingers. Not hard but still I didn't get what I thought I was going to get. Today, he bent his head down and started chewing on my shirt and I went in to pet him. He didn't try to nibble my fingers. I'd say that's progress.

At first, he would fly off, and step up to let me return him to his cage. I thought progress! But someone told me that he was just wanting a ride back to his safe place and would tolerate me long enough to get back.

Good luck, have patience. It's worth it!

 

[adz1984]

Sounds exactly like my bird for example if I put her next to me on the couch she would climb all over me but I know it's just so I can take her back to the cage, I hear of people having trouble getting their bird back to the cage but it's the opposite for me! To top it off I got her as a recently weaned baby so realistically it should of been easier to bond, last time I ever will buy anything from a pet store.
I've pretty much been with with her 24/7 for 3months now and don't know when if ever she will warm up..

 

[MySweetJess]

I'm going to disagree. Maybe not a stick per se, but I used his perch from his small cage for my grey to get him out of his cage if he showed signs of wanting to bite, like for cleaning the cage or to move him for vacuuming floor. OR you can just leave him and wait for a better time. If you're willing to get bitten you can keep persisting with pauses in between, calmness and continuing to talk gently. I did train two Amazons who were very, very resistant to get on my hand this way. But with pauses and breaks in between.

 

[MySweetJess]

I wish I had joined this forum way sooner, especially for nutrition, but everything else. I would tell any new bird owner, saddle up and ride over to parrotforums.com and at a gallop!!!

 

[wrench13]

@ ADZ - parrots vary so much by individual. Some are easy going and will accept change, new things/people/food readily. And some are on the other side of the coin, and can be as stubborn as an old tree root. It's not unusual on here to read about a parrot taking months and months to accomplish something ( stepping up, eating new food, not biting, accepting scratches, you name it ), a few a year. And a very very few just never make it to that other side of the coin. Patience, patience and more patience with your Bella will pay off eventually. Just bribe the living daylights out of her, BE CONSISTENT in what and how you ask for things, and proceed at Bella's chozen pace. I am sure one day she will surprize you.

 

[adz1984]

I am more stubborn than her so don't worry I'm not giving up I just get fustrated some day's.
Today she has done something new which was preening my nails and arm hair a little, I don't exactly know if that's a step forward or back coz she could just be trying to hurt me lol and she tolerated (not enjoy) me handling her abit more than usual!