Advice needed grieving cat

[Jottlebot]

Hi All,

Hopefully someone has some advice. My husband and I have a 13 year old cat who lost her "sister" in May. We've had them from around 7 months old when we rescued them both.

Tabby initially spent a lot of time meowing and meowing at the top of her lungs all round the house, we assume looking for her sister. She also stopped grooming herself. It was heartbreaking. With time, attention and love she's stopped meowing and is grooming again. The only change now is that she is very clingy with my husband. He adores her, but the problem is she will wake him up repeatedly at night and scratch his face. She's made him bleed lots of times and he's getting more and more tired due to not sleeping well.

Any ideas? We can't shut her out of the bedroom because she'll scratch and scratch on the door, but also she's 13 and needs to be warm and comfortable at night! Also on and off throughout the day, when we have the birds out or the dog is in she's shut out of the living room anyway so she doesn't get us all day.

We're going to try Feliway, but has anyone got any other ideas?

Many thanks.

 

[plumsmum2005]

https://www.thespruce.com/cats-grieving-loss-of-pet-554053

Please see last two paragraphs

 

[Jottlebot]

Thank you Plumsmam2005 x

 

[Scott]

My condolences for the loss of Tabby's sister.

Nice link above, perhaps some homeopathic remedies will calm her.

A partial remedy to scratching may be to trim her nails if able? I know this doesn't help with your husband's sleeplessness.

An offhand suggestion.... does she enjoy the security of confined areas? If so, letting her sleep in a small carrier next to the bed may be helpful? Perhaps elevated at eye-level on a chair or stand? May pose an issue if, like many aging cats, frequent litter box visits are needed.

 

[MonicaMc]

I had a brother and sister pair for 14 years. Lost the female cat in May as well... the male didn't seem to care as much despite the fact that he really 'loved' his sister. Towards the end of her death, she was moved to another home where she could be watched more closely, and when she was brought back a couple of times, the male would get upset as if she was a different cat. (he realized he knew her, but perhaps her smell was different that it set him off... she wasn't treated like a new cat, but also, not treated like his 'lost sister')

He kind of just seemed indifferent, but was also less active. It wasn't long after her death though that his health also started to spiral out of control, and he went in August... the night before my sister had to put her own "baby" cat (12 years old) down. (her cat that traveled from the USA to NZ and back with her... she has one other cat left, whom she adopted while she was in NZ)


I guess, in short, I don't really have any advice, since the male cat that depended on his sister so much became indifferent to her not being there, so nothing "special" had to be done... as for my sisters remaining cat? I don't know if she has grieved or is grieving at all, since she (unfortunately) lives with my sisters ex.



My condolences for your loss, though. My only thought is that, if everyone is receptive (kitty included), then maybe consider adopting an older, friendly cat?

 

[Kentuckienne]

My sister has always kept multiple cats, and whenever a cat had to end, she brought the body home so the others could know. She said if the cat just didn’t come home they would look for it for a long time, but when they could see and smell the body they seemed to understand and accept.

She has a cat now that is very clingy to her husband and it’s a bit of a problem. If he is away, the cat will start to bite and lick at places on her own body enough to open the skin. They had to put her in a collar, and also give her a kitty dose of Prozac every day which helped a lot. A short course of an anti anxiety or antidepressant drug might help.

What about putting a heating pad, under a towel, at the foot of the bed or a cat tower or something in the bedroom? Cats love heat...maybe she would stay on that and not get up to scratch?