Help with stress and anxiety with my new bird!

Hello, I thought this would be a good place to post this, I just need some help.

Recently I've taken home a 14 month old sun conure, my first bird. He's the cutest thing! I've taken to calling him Sam/Sammy. I've even taught him to say hi on command! But here's the problem... it's the second day he's been home, and he's very used to it and is "coming out of his shell". Now, before I got him I did loads and LOADS of research, I want to give him a happy and healthy life. But since he's been more outward, it all hit me. I got an anxiety feeling and I can't stop worrying about him, my throat is tight and my stomach is crawling... I always take him out if his cage, but when I want to do my own thing and put him back, he goes crazy.

I love Sammy to death and want to provide so much for him.
Does anyone have any tips? Have you gone through this? How did you deal with it?

Thank you all so much! Much gratitude from Sammy and me :01:

While you want them to bond with you, it is just as unhealthy for them to "over-bond" to the point that they can't be independent without you. Make sure you are providing a variety of fun toys--try twisting up bits of food in pieces of paper so he can forage and including puzzle toys for him to amuse himself with. Make sure he has out of the cage time that is supervised but not directly interactive (my girl spends much of the day watching me work while she plays with toys on a tree stand or on top of her cage). You want a bird to be your friend but it is JUST as important that they learn to entertain themselves independently because relying too much on you can lead to things like plucking when you simply HAVE to be out of the house. Don't feel guilty about this, think of it like weaning a child. They might cry and throw tantrums, but they need to learn to turn their attention to other fun things besides you.

Thank you so much! I am definitely going to invest in a tree stand. Right now though I have a playtop cage for him, but for whatever reason he's scared to go on the perches up there. Maybe he's just young and clumsy LOL. I had to take a break today so I've been gone for a few hours. When I go back I'll give him his favorite treat to reward his patience. It'll come in time.

A few questions:
- How long should I ignore his screams? Just until he stops?
- I've heard that ignoring their screams and waiting for them to stop for a while and treating them works. Any word on that?

Thanks again!

I have to warn you that sunnies are known for being loud birds--so my answer for ignoring screaming would be "always." When my RB2 screams, I pretend it isn't happening. She's in my living room, and I can't even hear the TV when she screams! But I continue watching as if nothing is happening and don't even look her way then I just rewind my show if she stops. If she doesn't stop quickly (within five minutes), I go to another room and do something else. Thanks to this she generally doesn't scream for attention, only when she is hormonal or for fun. When she is quiet I give her attention, but never, EVER when she screams. Just walk away from him when he screams and do not even LOOK at him. Parrots are smart birds and he will quickly learn that they behavior will not get him the result he wants and try something else. But he will scream for other reasons. For the rest of his life, just never give him any reason to associate screaming with attention--good or bad. Don't yell at him or comfort him, don't approach his cage, don't take him out. Think of him like a kid having a tantrum. I personally do not reward Lucille when she stops screaming for attention because she shouldn't have been screaming for attention to begin with and as smart as she is I think she might figure out that screaming then stopping gets her attention. I just make sure I give her lots of attention when she is quiet and pay her NO mind when she screams, as if it's not even happening. She doesn't bother screaming for attention much these days. She will make kissy noises or babble (because I often make kiss noises back since it is quiet and doesn't bother me), but no screaming. Suns are loud though, so it is important to figure out your screaming "game plan" and stick to it!

Agreed with the advice given already! It is our goal to bond with them, but also every bird should be able to play on their own, because life happens. We have work, or school, or social lives, and so our birds need to learn when it is alone time and they need to know they have to entertain themselves for a while by playing with their toys, usually. The cage you have should be big enough to allow him to sit comfortably on the perch and be able to extend his wings fully as well as 3-5 toys or fun things in the cage to keep him entertained. A foraging toy, a hanging toy, different kinds to challenge him in different ways. Most birds like to chew a lot.

So if you haven't already, you can practice putting him into his cage, and sitting in the room quietly with him, until he stops screaming. (headphones may help, lol) when he stops (which may take a little while at first), give him a treat, and continue to practice putting him in his cage for alone time several times a day so he is used to it and knows he will eventually come out again.

I appreciate these helpful replies! I just have a few more questions if you don't mind!

-is it okay to take him out for 1-2 hours and have him back in his cage for 3-4 hours on like a busy day?
-I'm having problems having him on my shoulder because he ends up chewing on my ear and hair and I'm like seriously ticklish! LOL any way to discourage this?

More on my cage though, like I said it's a playtop cage with definitely enough space for him to stretch his wings and everything, but I only have two toys; a chew toy with wood and some other material and a hanging bell toy. I definitely need to get a LOT more but I'm hanging on a limb financially until my paycheck comes in. I also only have a wooden dowel perch and a large rope perch, but that's it...

GlitchTown said:

I appreciate these helpful replies! I just have a few more questions if you don't mind!

-is it okay to take him out for 1-2 hours and have him back in his cage for 3-4 hours on like a busy day?
-I'm having problems having him on my shoulder because he ends up chewing on my ear and hair and I'm like seriously ticklish! LOL any way to discourage this?

More on my cage though, like I said it's a playtop cage with definitely enough space for him to stretch his wings and everything, but I only have two toys; a chew toy with wood and some other material and a hanging bell toy. I definitely need to get a LOT more but I'm hanging on a limb financially until my paycheck comes in. I also only have a wooden dowel perch and a large rope perch, but that's it...

Click to expand...

Yes, it's fine to take him out for awhile and put him in his cage for awhile IF he has enough things to do in his cage. When you get your paycheck I would skip buying the very expensive pre-made toys and invest in getting a cage that is twice the size of what is necessary. My RB2 is in a macaw sized cage, which to a bird her size might as well be "free in the room." In fact, I open her cage in the morning and she mostly stays inside it all day though she is free to leave at anytime since it is HUGE. (Her head is just big enough so the spacing in a macaw cage is safe for her. Make sure whatever cage you get has spacing that they can't get their heads stuck in.) This makes sitting in a cage much healthier since they have plenty of room to move around. When I had a conure, it's cage was around the size that would normally be suggested as the minimum for an RB2, a bird almost twice its size. I think the dimensions were a little over 3.5 feet by 3.75 feet. I got it fairly cheap off Amazon. You just have to look around.

If you are willing to put in a little elbow grease on the weekend, making toys is a breeze. Invest in a few colored block bird toys so they can chew on wood then you can do the rest yourself. Start saving paper towel and TP rolls and ask people for their old newspapers or phone books. Get some slim rope and some of those clip hooks cheap from a hardware or dollar store. Check your crafts stores sale sections for things made of untreated wood and bells. Stuff the newspaper into the TP tubes and hang them in the cage. Fold up little pieces of paper with pellets or seed inside and use masking tape to seal it to make foraging toys. Be creative with making things from paper and cardboard (birds love cardboard!) Walk through dollar stores thinking about what stuff you could use to make toys. Just keep in mind that it needs to be safe for them! Also, I reuse my block toys over and over again. Cockatoos chew through wood constantly, so my blocks get battered. I just drill a new hole in them and add them to a "new" toy along with TP and cardboard! You can make dozens and dozens of simple foraging toys in a few hours while watching TV. Check this site and try searching Google for DIY bird toys.

https://frombeakstobarks.me/2009/04/04/how-to-make-cheap-and-easy-foraging-toys-at-home/

Trust me, I would NOT be able to afford a bird if I didn't make most of her toys! Large bird toys are way pricey and she destroys them in what seems like seconds!!!

It also helps if you know someone who can do simple woodworking. Those dowel rod perches take about three seconds for someone who can cut wood to do. Just give them the length and BAM it's done. You might even take an example to a Home Depot or hardware store and see if they can make them for you for cheap.

As for the ear chewing, I give a strong "NO" then if they do it again I remove them from my shoulder. They figure out pretty soon it's not good. That's how I train birds not be gentle when "play biting" as well. As for hair... mine is short, so not sure about that! I hope this helps!

EDIT: I had a sun conure in this size cage for awhile and he seemed perfectly happy in it. It's a good, sturdy cage and only costs $160. Lucille actually still uses it for a travel cage--it has held up well considering I have hauled it around on a small trailer several times rather than disassemble it! Nice, sturdy construction. https://www.amazon.com/Best-Choice-...d=1498070552&sr=8-11&keywords=bird+cage+large

That is very helpful! It looks like it's crunch time for me haha, no problem, I have plenty of extra things to "get crafty" with. At the moment I'll probably just be able to work with newspaper, paper towels, toilet paper rolls and cardboard, but I figure foraging toys keep them busy for a good amount of time, lol.

Yes!
What Puck and Bean said!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!